Dennis William
MeetDennis William
Dennis is an aspiring English teacher and still listens to ska music. He lives in DC, which is fine.

From the mind of Dennis

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Thoughts, Prayers, and Signs: We Can’t Talk About the Florida School Shooting

Another school shooting. 17 dead, joining the endless sea of statistics on mass homicides in America. We can’t talk about it. But we have to talk about it.

Dennis William
February 15, 2018
Politics
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An Incomplete and Growing List of Rites That I Am Aware Of

Usually, we’re talking about writes. Sometimes, we’re talking about rights. But this time, it’s different. How many rites do you know?

Dennis William
February 9, 2018
Wildcard
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Hashtag {Winning} is Hashtag Poisonous: The Curse of Winning Too Much

What’s the only thing worse than your team losing? Winning too much. They say everyone loves a winner, but there’s a fine line between love and hate.

Dennis William
February 6, 2018
Prompts, Sports
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{Me vs. The World}. Scoreboard.

If life is a game, what’s the score? A play-by-play day in the life of one of your coworkers, while keeping one eye on the scoreboard.

Dennis William
November 30, 2017
Prompts
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{Toupee or Not Toupee}? Hair is the Question

All these men, walking around with bad toupees. If we pointed out how dumb they look—*cough, DJT*—wouldn’t we just be doing them a favor?

Dennis William
August 21, 2017
Prompts
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{To Be} Elon Musk: A Man Up His Own Ass

Elon Musk is many things: an entrepreneur, an innovator, a visionary. But he is also so far up his own ass, he doesn’t even know what’s real vs. simulated.

Dennis William
August 16, 2017
Prompts, Science
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{Hi, My Name Is} Mads Mikkelsen—Through the Alphabet

And now, the most fun way to end the week. Stupid name games! This week, we consider alternate names for actor Mads Mikkelsen. Which is your favorite?

Dennis William
July 7, 2017
Pop Culture, Prompts
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{Hi, My Name Is} Dion—The Time I Tried to Change My Name

Dennis is a fine name, but you know what’s cooler? Dion. I tried to change my name, but you know what they say about the best laid plans…

Dennis William
July 3, 2017
Lifestyle, Prompts
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Donald Trump is the First Millennial President

Old folks just LOVE to make fun of millennials. But you know who else is entitled and loves Twitter? It’s official: Trump is the first millennial president.

Dennis William
June 22, 2017
Politics
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