Dennis William
MeetDennis William
Dennis is an aspiring English teacher and still listens to ska music. He lives in Portland, Oregon, which is fine, just not in the same way that DC is fine.

From the mind of Dennis

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{I’m Sorry} I Didn’t Make It to the Protest

Dennis is really sorry that the Proud Boys marched through his town. And he’s really sorry that he couldn’t be there to counterprotest.

Dennis William
September 25, 2019
Prompts
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An Incomplete and Growing List of All the Dope Autumnal Shit I’m Excited About

Are you excited about the autumn? Well, so is Dennis. And he’s got reasons. Many reasons, all of them wearing sweatshirts and smelling like cinnamon.

Dennis William
September 23, 2019
Wildcard
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{How to} Masturbate (for Penis-Havers Who Are Attracted to Ladies)

Looking for advice on how to masturbate? We’ve all been there. WARNING: Squicky, semi-autobiographical honesty ahead.

Dennis William
August 28, 2019
Prompts
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Choosing {Bodies}: Souls Finding Life in The Soup

When a consciousness dies, it must find a new body in order to live. The process of choosing bodies is a real scramble, but that’s just life.

Dennis William
July 31, 2019
Prompts
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An Incomplete and Growing List of Songs About {Body Parts}

So many songs are inspired by the human form, and we’re just cracking open the list. What songs about body parts made our list?

Dennis William
July 25, 2019
Pop Culture, Wildcard
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A {Road-Tripper’s} Golden Rule: Hicks, Hickeys, and Speeding through the Confederacy

When Dennis and his college buddies drove to a bowl game in Florida, they made a few stops. One gas station in Mississippi left them with an important lesson.

Dennis William
July 17, 2019
Prompts, Travel
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Mrs. Forkenbrock Won’t Let Me {Express Myself}

Bryce’s self-portrait is bold. Edgy. But not INAPPROPRIATE. Not LEWD. He tested boundaries, tried to express himself. Isn’t that what art class is for?

Dennis William
July 8, 2019
Prompts, Wildcard
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Kindergarten {Graduation} Speech

No easy baskets. No kindergarten graduation. Look, you’ve really got to work if you want to impress me, kid.

Dennis William
July 5, 2019
Prompts
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{In Defense of} Grammatical Errors

Pointing out grammatical errors on the internet is a grammar snob’s favorite pastime. But it’s detrimental to language development. Here’s why.

Dennis William
June 12, 2019
Prompts
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