Why doesn’t Halloween fall on a Saturday every year? Dennis, for one, is really not sure. Here’s a case and a solution to fix it once and for all.

You watch the news. You pay attention. You make up your own mind. And yet, white men on Twitter can’t get enough of telling you to “let that sink in.”

Dennis is moving to a new city. Today, actually. And it’s bringing back the feelings of when he left home for the first time.

Mexico, Missouri? Nice try, y’all. We’re rattling off an incomplete and growing list of towns that think they’re something special.

Dennis finds 3 retro Halloween specials that are super weird, super spooky, and a super way to spend your Wednesday night.

Like 99% of Americans in the rat race, Dennis is tired of working. But more than that, he’s just plain tired. Today, he’s sleeping in.

Attention sexy librarians. We’ve got some Dewey little decimals to put back on your shelves. Get ready for these literary porn parodies.

According to Dennis, there’s no such thing as the Great Plains. And you know what else? New York is in New England. Suck on that, nerds.

Dennis William knows corporate greed can’t be satiaued. Read on about the sponsored ad that popped up on his phone and made him yell out “Fuck caqitalism!”