Kelaine Conochan
MeetKelaine Conochan
The editor-in-chief of this magazine, who should, in all honesty, be a gym teacher. Don’t sleep on your plucky kid sister.

From the mind of Kelaine

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POETRY: {Pass the Ketchup}? A {Hot Dog} Lover’s Nightmare

Who puts ketchup on a hot dog? Not everyone understands the contentious battle between red and yellow, right and wrong, good and bad (taste).

Kelaine Conochan
May 3, 2021
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{Hot Dogs} on Long Beach Island: Thinking Back on a Childhood Fantasy

Things are more complicated when there’s less sunshine and mini golf. Kelaine reflects on carefree summers spent in Long Beach Island with her cousins.

Kelaine Conochan
April 30, 2021
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Communication Breakdown: When The Real {Problem} Isn’t Your Car

This is more than just car trouble. It’s a crisis of masculinity. It’s hard to know what the problem is until you lift up the hood.

Kelaine Conochan
April 14, 2021
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The Casual Disintegration of Morganza L., Elite Yelper

Watch out world! Morganza L. is an Elite Yelper who knows what she wants and is here to write about it. It’s love, OK? FINE. She’s lonely. But still, how was that froyo?

Kelaine Conochan
March 29, 2021
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{Suckers} Beware: Comparison is the Thief of Joy

The expression “comparison is the thief of joy” has never been more apt and righteous than in the social media age. Some advice on securing your valuables.

Kelaine Conochan
March 23, 2021
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Torture & Nostalgia: Your Gym Class Square Dancing Unit

In elementary schools throughout suburban New Jersey, kids were forced to square dance during gym class. And you know what? It was weirdly awesome.

Kelaine Conochan
February 26, 2021
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{Spill the Tea}: Deeply Steeped Rituals, Through the Years

For those of us who have made it a part of our day-to-day lives, tea is more than just a beverage. Have a sip of our tea rituals.

Kelaine Conochan
February 8, 2021
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You Deserve to Suffer: Unpopular Opinion Turned Ass-Kicking Pep Talk

You want to make something of yourself? You want to be somebody? Well it’s not about talent or money or connections. Suffering will set you free.

Kelaine Conochan
February 4, 2021
Lifestyle
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An Incomplete and Growing List of Things I’d Rather Do Than Help You on {Moving Day}

What would you do to avoid helping your friends or family with their move? Almost anything. This here is just the beginning of the list.

Kelaine Conochan
January 26, 2021
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