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My birthday is right in the middle of September (I’m sure your card got lost in the mail) and has always served as my personal signifier that fall has begun. Even better, it actually feels like early fall here in Portland, Oregon. To ensure that I live my best Hot Boy Fall, I have made a list of everything I hope to experience this fall.

Attending as many Oktoberfests as I can

Drinking as many different Oktoberfest beers as possible, without reservation

Drinking a select few pumpkin flavored beers, with much reservation

Hoping I remember which pumpkin flavored beers taste like old dress shoes

Pumpkin spice lattes

Pumpkin pies

Going to a pumpkin patch

Apple cider

Apple cider donuts

Corn mazes

Reading The King in Yellow (a collection of stories from 1895 that influenced H.P. Lovecraft and the first season of True Detective)

Making a second attempt at watching The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Buying one of those cinnamon brooms so my house smells delicious

Mulled wine (autumn’s sangria)

Baseball playoffs

My vestigial enjoyment of football

Hocus Pocus

Evil Dead the Musical

My seven-film Nightmare on Elm Street box set

Fashionable sweatshirts

Stuffing (homemade and from the box)

Stuffing myself with food

Dennis William

Dennis is an aspiring English teacher and still listens to ska music. He lives in Portland, Oregon, which is fine, just not in the same way that DC is fine.

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