Dennis William
MeetDennis William
Dennis is an aspiring English teacher and still listens to ska music. He lives in Portland, Oregon, which is fine, just not in the same way that DC is fine.

From the mind of Dennis

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{I’m Not Disappointed, Just Mad} About This Asthma Thing

Nice try, lungs. You can’t snuff me out. But after a lifetime of asthma—trips to the hospital and embarrassing near-death experiences—I’m just plain mad.

Dennis William
August 1, 2023
Lifestyle, Prompts
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Everybody Gotta Work: {Corporate Overlords} Incentivizing Productivity Through Fear of Financial Ruin

How should the state protect billionaires from losing steam and going on unemployment? The same way it motivates the working class: fear of financial ruin!

Dennis William
July 20, 2023
Prompts
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{In Defense of} Grammatical Errors

Pointing out grammatical errors on the internet is a grammar snob’s favorite pastime. But it’s detrimental to language development. Here’s why.

Dennis William
July 13, 2023
Prompts
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{Divide and Conquer} Volume II: Dennis Re-Organizes the States

According to Dennis, there’s no such thing as the Great Plains. And you know what else? New York is in New England. Suck on that, nerds.

Dennis William
March 28, 2023
Prompts
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A {Road-Tripper’s} Golden Rule: Hicks, Hickeys, and Speeding through the Confederacy

When Dennis and his college buddies drove to a bowl game in Florida, they made a few stops. One gas station in Mississippi left them with an important lesson.

Dennis William
February 2, 2023
Travel
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What’s In a {Maybe?} The Many Meanings of the Most Uncertain Response

What does “maybe” mean? It’s not always clear. But Dennis, an elder Millennial with his finger on the pulse, does his best to decode the meaning.

Dennis William
January 16, 2023
Prompts
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{Going Viral} – COVID Correspondence: Pen Pals in the Time of Coronavirus

What happens when all the memes have been shared and Netflix stops asking if you’re still watching? Might have to write a letter to an old friend…

Dennis William
January 10, 2023
Prompts
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How to be Strategically Vague on Craigslist’s {Missed Connections}

Looking for a chance for romance from the Craigslist Missed Connections section? The trick to landing something is to cast a wide net.

Dennis William
January 5, 2023
Prompts
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Which Christmas Time Loop Romance Movie Is Right for You?

Looking for a new Christmas romance movie to enjoy this holiday season? Dennis has selected three time loopers to bring you a joyous Noel.

Dennis William
December 23, 2022
Prompts
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