{What If} Marvel Comics Accepted Any of My “What If” Pitches

In the 1970s, Marvel introduced a line of comics that attempted to explore what the comics landscape would be like had certain events occurred differently. These stories featured the same characters readers knew and loved, but the alternate dimensions allowed the writers to showcase new timelines and fascinating alternatives to the main continuity. Despite the wide range of possibilities, not every pitch was accepted.

What If… Spider-Man Was Slider-Man (Like Those Little Burgers) (Aren’t They Good?)

What If… Thor Wasn’t the God of Thunder but the God of Plunder (He’s a Pirate in This One, Arrr!)

What If… Iron Man Was… No, What If Tony Stark Didn’t Have to Get a Real Job, Honey, Because His Comics Career Took off Through This Freelance “What If” Gig?

What If… Tony Stark Was Tony-Award-Winning Stark. No, I Know That One Is for Plays, Babe, I’m Just Saying, There’s Probably One for Comics, Too, Ok?

What If… Spider-Man Didn’t Get to Work at the Daily Bugle, Because, Apparently, You Need Qualifications to Be a Photographer

What If… Captain America Didn’t Have Enough Work Experience to Join the Avengers or Really Most Jobs That Pay a Living Wage (And in This Dimension, It’s Not Because He Did Something Cool Like Being a Soldier but More Like He Just Got High and Read Comic Books All the Time)

What If… Spider-Man Had Followed Through on His Potential in Math and Science, Instead of Something Dumb, Like Pursuing His Passion: Graphic Novels

What If… Jean Grey Was Dating but Then Broke up With Wolverine, Who Was Just a Cool and Independent Guy Trying to Follow His Dreams

What If… Daredevil Didn’t Go to Law School, Ok, Mom? And It’s Too Late for That Now. All I’ve Got Is Writing These Comics. There’s No Way I Could Start a Successful Law Practice at My Age. Yes, I Know Billy Did It. I’m Not Billy! And Billy Got a Head Start! I’m Not Saying I Couldn’t, I’m Just Saying That —

What If… Doctor Strange Stopped Answering Calls from the Astral Plane (Especially from His Mother)

What If… Wolverine Fought the X-Men, Who All Took Jean Grey’s Side in the Break-up Even Though Wolverine Knew Them Longer

What If… Wolverine Never Joined the X-Men (Or It Sure Feels That Way, at Least)

What If… the Fantastic Four Were Just a Fantastic One, That’d Be Ok, Right? Who Needs Friends?

What If… Wolverine Gained Some Weight

What If… Fat Wolverine

What If… Fat Wolverine Found out Jean Grey Was Now Dating the Incredible Hulk, Who Doesn’t Really Work out but Somehow Still Looks Great (He Is Also a Successful Writer at The New Yorker and Doesn’t Have to Submit Freelance “What If” Comic Book Pitches to Marvel)

What If… Fat Wolverine Had Shown up to the Apartment That the Incredible Hulk and Jean Grey Share, Drunk

What If… Fat Wolverine Fought the Incredible Hulk

What If… Fat Wolverine Hadn’t Done That Last One (He Did, Though) (Spoilers: It Ended Poorly for Him)

What If… Stan Lee Responded to Literally a Single One of My Pitches

What If… Doctor Strange Used the Astral Plane to Call Home and Ask for a Little Money to Make Rent

What If… Doctor Strange Discovered the Astral Plane Had Been Disconnected

What If… Fat Wolverine Had One Little Drink

What If… Or Two

What If… Way More Than Two, and What If He Felt Great

What If… Fat Wolverine (Who Looks Good, Despite Any Recent Weight Gain) Used the Yellow Pages to Find Stan Lee’s Apartment

What If… Daredevil Knew That Just Showing up Somewhere Wasn’t a Crime

What If… Iron Man Had, Like, Some Really Good Business Proposals and “What If” Pitches

What If… Fat Wolverine Had Shown up to Stan Lee’s Apartment, Drunk

What If… Fat Wolverine Fought Stan Lee

What If… Fat Wolverine Hadn’t Done That Last One (He Did, Though) (Spoilers: It Ended Poorly for Him)