The {Restart} Program

Even if it’s the opportunity of a lifetime for a new lifetime?

Hello?

Congratulations! You’ve been selected for the Restart program.

No thanks.

Hello?

Good morning. I contacted you yesterday to inform you you’ve been selected for the Restart program. You will be—

Sorry. I’m not interested.

Hello?

According to our records, you put in a request for a Restart two years ago.

I did?

Yes.

I don’t recall doing something like that. There must be some mistake. That’s not something I would do. 

Not a mistake. It says it right here.

Hmm… Well, whether I did or not, I don’t want one now. Good day, sir.

Hello?

Me again, hi.

You again.

Once an application is submitted for a Restart candidate, a program is designed specifically for that person. No two programs are alike. An individualized, one-of-a-kind Restart, applicable to no one else but that candidate.

Cool.

Thus, the client is obligated to participate in the Restart program. It is these non-financial agreements between Restart and its registered clients, such as yourself, that help the program continue to grow and help others. Additionally, it becomes a de facto agreement between the client and Restart’s financial supporters. Your participation is essential in order for this successful program to function and exist.

So? Why should I care about them?

When your name is selected for a Restart, there is an expectation to follow through with your customized program.

Otherwise what?

Sorry?

Otherwise, what will happen if I don’t participate?

(They’re asking me what happens if… I don’t know. No one has asked me that before…)

See? Even you don’t know. What a waste of precious resources, people’s hard-earned money, and a waste of your time and mine. I said it before, and I’ll say it once again, I’m not interested. Good day, sir.

If you please let me explain—

I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!

Damn.

Hello?

You trusted us two years ago when you signed up. Why not now?

I… I don’t know. I’m not so sure about any of this.

Hear me out… Restart—our patented, risk-free, trauma-proof program—is an invaluable second chance. It’s a golden opportunity to right wrongs, and to not miss moments that have slipped by, or accidentally occurred as unintended mishaps.

How safe is it? Any side-effects?

Restart comes with an impeccable history of across-the-board safety and a full guarantee of proven results. All consumables are one hundred percent natural, free from animal testing, and the procedure has no side effects. None!

(Sigh) If I say “yes,” will you stop contacting me?

Think about it… we won’t need to contact you ever again once the process is complete. That’s the beauty of a Restart.

I still need more time to think about it.

Hello?

A Restart is more than a mere do-over. It gives you brand new memories. It erases traumatic thoughts. A second chance at a first impression.

But I’ve moved on. Those problems are not in my life anymore.

And yet, the memories remain, right?

Yes.

When you signed up for a Restart two years ago, where were you?

Why’d you bring that up?

What was going on in your life?

I was…

I can look into our files and find your application if that will help.

Please don’t do that… 

We’re a company that cares. Here at Restart, we strive to give you the past and the future you want, that you deserve, not to bring up old nightmares. To erase them and start anew.

I want to forget. No, I want to never know it happened, but I’m really afraid.

I can provide you with all the information about our services again.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I can’t do this right now.

Hello?

A new beginning on a blank slate.

A completely blank slate?

One hundred percent.

Totally safe? No side effects?

None whatsoever.

I don’t want to be reminded anymore of what happened.

You won’t. I give you my word.

Ok.

Ok?

Ok.

Excellent. I am so glad to hear that, and you’ll be so glad you signed up. although, technically, you won’t know that you did, so you should appreciate now what is about to happen.

I will. I am. Thank you.

Hello?

Congratulations! You’ve been selected for the Restart program.

No thanks.