Prompt Images

Room temperature water is better than ice water

High heels are torture

It is not embarrassing to pick your nose

Lactose intolerance isn’t real

If you don’t abide by the social contract of zippering in a traffic merge, you should be hit by a red shell

Flossing your teeth is a spiritual act

There’s a difference between having a dog and being a “dog person,” and dog people must be stopped

Cake is mostly not good

Cupcakes are only good if they’re in ice cream cones

Golf is elitist and boring

Sideline cheerleading is not a sport

Being called “nice” is actually an insult

People who like winter are lying

If you are able-bodied and tall enough to reach, you should be strong enough to lift your luggage into an overhead carrier and no one should ever help you

Anyone who has not ever been a teenage girl should have to watch PEN15 and write an empathetic report on what they learned about being a teenage girl

Omar Little is the best character to ever be on television

The “apple core” is a useless myth—you can eat everything but the seeds

Sandwiches are better when they’re soggy

Sleeping in socks is an excellent choice

Everyone should travel to a place where you don’t speak the native language

Picky eaters are not invited

Kelaine Conochan

The editor-in-chief of this magazine, who should, in all honesty, be a gym teacher. Don’t sleep on your plucky kid sister.

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