counting money

counting money

I’m sorry, but we’re not gonna be able to go to Disney World this year.

I’m sorry, but Daddy may be missing our family vacations for the next 10-15 years.

I’m sorry, you actually want me to tell the kids. Now.

I’m sorry! I was trying to provide for this family! Whatta ya want me to do?

I’m sorry, I’m a terrible husband, brother-in-law… and father!

I’m sorry, yes, I called Gary, but he’s not in trouble, I don’t think…

I’m sorry… we were short on money… I called your brother…

I’m sorry, there are two Tony’s and they’re both big. And its who I had to pay.

I’m sorry, I meant Bigger Tony, who works with Big Tony. And they’re big.

I’m sorry, but it’s been a stressful time, not mention I had to pay Big Tony!

I’m sorry, I may have kinda left out the part about a “potential criminal investigation”.

I’m sorry, Officer, talk to my attorney, G’night. See the sticker on my car in the driveway.

I’m sorry, as an annual giver to the Fraternal Order of Police, now is not a good time.

I’m sorry to bother you folks, Detective Morrison—

I’m sorry, Detective Who’s at the door?

I’m sorry, if I felt like the only thing, I could walk out the door with was my dignity!

I’m sorry, I meant I refused to resign, so yes, I was fired from my job.

I’m sorry, what I meant to say was that they gave me the option to resign. And I refused.

I’m sorry, Diane… but the bank let me go.

I’m sorry, too.

I’m sorry, John, but we are going to have to let you go.

I’m sorry, you don’t apologize! There you go, the numbers should add up again.

I’m sorry, John, but the numbers…

I’m sorry! Ugh—yes… give me like 5 minutes…

I’m sorry, but you got those numbers…?

I’m sorry, (slaps forehead), I’m on it!

I’m sorry, but you got those numbers yet? Accounting has been asking…

I’m sorry, Tim, that’s a mistake on my part, let me go back and run the numbers.

I’m sorry, it’s the weirdest thing, John, but the trust account is short like… $52,000.

I’m sorry, (to Janitor), I’ll clean this up…shower at home! Amirite!?

(Splashes water in his face several times)

I’m sorry, (to the mirror), just this ONCE. Then put it right back, nobody’s the wiser.

I’m sorry, I would love to join ya’ll but, working late… AGAIN (laughs)…

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked, please don’t tell your sister…

I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t happen to be in the mood to give me another loan…

I’m sorry, but you remember that “sure thing?” Well, football is a funny game…

I’m sorry, hello?

I’m sorry, could you give me a couple more days—I’m…

I’m sorry, who’s gonna pick up payment? Bigger… Tony?

I’m sorry, did you say, “by tomorrow?”

I’m sorry, too. Do you take payment plans? Installments? Double or nothing?

I’m sorry, John, but you lost. Lost big.

I’m sorry? No, I’m not a cop… I’m John, we met a while ago at Gary’s house.

I’m sorry, last time I call you Big Tony as well.

I’m sorry, starting now. Nothing about “betting”, Big Tony. Mr. Tony. Mr. Big Tony.

I’m sorry, I won’t say “betting” again over the phone.

I’m sorry, please bear with me, Big Tony, I’m not familiar with “betting” terminology.

I’m sorry, “What’s a stick?”

I’m sorry? Is that a “dime”?

I’m sorry, but we met once at Gary’s, and I would like to bet several thousand dollars…

I’m sorry, could I borrow a few bucks for a “sure” thing?

I’m sorry, did you say you’ve got some inside information on this week’s game…

I’m sorry, but I thought we were going to work together on this new “family budget!”

I’m sorry, I just didn’t know you were going to put her braces on the American Express…

I’m sorry, you said the total was how much—and that includes hotel?

I’m sorry, I’m a terrible son! Say “hi” to Dad! (click)

I’m sorry, we’ll come at Christmas I promise!

I’m sorry, Mom, but the kids really want to go to Disney World.

If you’ve gotten this far, why not try reading from bottom to top?

Mikael Johnson

Mikael Johnson is a writer, performer and paralegal. He once hit (2) home-runs in a game while playing baseball in Europe—he may have “flipped” his bat after hitting the second one.

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