Happy shots of Braden in office being important and at home being in love with too-handsome Trent
Shot of Braden and Trent sitting in Central Park where a dog runs up to them holding a ball
Trent: Ha ha!
Braden: Ha ha! This is so New York!
Dog owner running up to them: Ha ha!
Montage of late nights at the office.
Shot of paper that says “CLIFFORD PROPOSAL”
Trent: I am unhappy that you work too much.
Braden: But I am something like an architect, or something!
Montage of more late nights at office
Shot of unsmiling Trent mad and alone in bed, too handsome and lit very well by the window
Montage of even more late nights at the office
Trent: You work too much! I’m leaving you! I am too handsome to deserve this!
Braden: No! You’re my only true love or at least I love the idea of you, probably!
Shot of door slamming
Montage of drinking
Shot of alarm clock on floor
Boss: You botched the CLIFFORD PROPOSAL! I don’t care that Trent broke up with you! This is an important workplace! You are fired unfairly and slightly homophobically, even though you gave your life to this firm!
Braden: No! I gave my life to this firm and own all these suits, and also, I’d like to reiterate that now Trent is gone!
Montage of depression and filth
Second montage of depression and filth
Shot of dog coming into room
Shot of Sassy Black Woman standing in doorway holding leash to indicate she owns perfect dog
Woman: Get out of bed, Braden. I’m important and have an important job and you need to walk Noodles for me!
Braden: But I am too sad, Malaika!
Malaika slaps his face, which is apparently not assault
Braden: Okay. Just this week.
Montage of happy dog times with Noodles
Braden rubbing a yellow lab’s face: You’ll never break up with me, Noodles.
Shot of outdoor brunch
Malaika: I have another important friend with an important job who could use your help.
Braden looks at Noodles
Braden: Okay. Just this week.
Fast cuts of Braden walking one, then two, then three dogs
Shot of Braden signing up for “Fetch,” a dog walking app, using the fake name Curt
Braden, talking to Noodles: I want to make it very clear that I am using a fake name. I used to be important an important architect or something, so no one can know I’m walking dogs. Just this week!
Shot of handsome man making Fetch request or a walk
Braden to Noodles: Well look at Roger! He’s white and looks wealthy!
Fast cuts of Braden walking three, then four, then five, then 10 dogs at once, trying to eat an ice cream cone
Message from Roger on Fetch: Wow, you’re a really good dog walker and I like your profile picture!
Additional montage of making money and walking dogs with hilarious pooper scooper shots, of course
Message from Roger on Fetch: Hi, Curt. Thanks for coming by on short notice! Sorry I am never there when you walk Duke. You seem very trustworthy. Hope to meet you soon!
Shot of outdoor brunch
Braden, who is covered in chihuahuas: Malaika, I’m going to walk dogs for an entire year until I have enough money to get Trent back because I assume that’s what he cares about!
Malaika: Okay, hunty. Consider this a sassy rebuttal, with a hint of heart!
Braden: Also, look at this guy Roger from the Fetch app. I haven’t seen him in person. He is conceptually my ideal man, based on income and the part of New York he lives in! Only problem is he thinks my name is Curt! I hope that never comes up!
Malaika: Braden, girl, you gonna make me say a thing that is quotable but simultaneously flattens me as a character!
Message from Roger on Fetch: Hey Curt! Can you walk Duke today?
Shot of Braden putting a key into an apartment door
Shot of door suddenly opening to reveal Roger
Shot of Braden smiling
Shot of Roger smiling
Shot of Roger opening door more to reveal Trent standing there handsomely
Trent: OMG Braden?
Roger: What? I thought your name was Curt!
Braden: oh no! my lies! who saw this coming!?
Dramatic music with strings
Third montage of depression and filth
Montage of unanswered Fetch messages and unhappy dogs
Match-cuts of Braden spilling alcohol on hardwood floor and dogs peeing on floors
App message from Roger: Why would you lie about who you are on Fetch? I am more invested in your humanity than I logically should be, given I am dating Trent, who I have learned is your ex, and you have already lied to me once.
Shot of Braden sitting in Central Park alone, same place he was with Trent
Braden: Why do I care so much about what people think?
Text message from Trent: LOL, ur sad.
Text message from Trent: BTW I am suddenly a villain in this story, to create additional conflict.
Text message from Trent: BTW i was cheating on you, i guess, sure, why not?
Text message from Trent: FYI i want to cheat on Roger with you because, in case it’s not clear now, there are no consequences to your behavior, and I was the problem, the whole time.
Shot of Malaika standing with her arms crossed in the doorway
App message from Roger: Why won’t you answer me?
Malaika: Hunty, you contribute nothing to this friendship and I just figured out I am purely here as a plot device, so here’s some advice that sounds earthy and wise.
App message from Roger: Duke misses you, which is code for me missing you, even though that makes zero sense, based on our interactions, to date.
B&W shot of Roger opening the door
Text message from Trent: OMG let’s cheat!
B&W shot of Braden and Trent in Central Park happy ha ha!
Shot of Braden thinking about choosing to make a decision, maybe
Shot of Braden walking Noodles through Times Square
Black screen with a bunch of information and the title…
Shot of Noodles holding leash in mouth, looking directly at camera