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Everyone talks about robots taking factory workers’ jobs. But we’re already starting to see robots do things like drive cars and deliver packages.

Soon, no job will be safe. We’ll have robots as farmers, robots as mine workers, and robots as plumbers. (Hopefully waterproof robots.)

But they won’t stop there. Robots will keep marching ever onward in their quest to take every job on Earth. Once they get all the blue-collar ones, they’ll start on the white-collar ones.

This is how we’ll end up with robot judges, robot hedge fund managers, and perhaps the worst of all, robot marketing executives. Fear that day, dear reader, for it is on that day that we will see the death of one of the only good things to come from marketers: theĀ slogan.

Robots don’t understand catchiness. They don’t understand the bite-sized nature of a short number of syllables. Robots can’t give it more “pop.”

These will be dark days, dear reader.

Don’t believe me?

Just check out what happened to some of our most beloved slogans when I asked a robot to collaborate on them.* Be prepared. This is our future.

* I typed the first few words of the slogan into my iPhone and tapped on the “suggested words” above the keyboard to finish off the slogan.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scott Snowman

Scott Snowman is an ISTJ with an MA, and is usually MIA or AFK IRL. Interrobang him and win a prize.

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