Hey MoveOn.org, Let’s Make Petitions Great Again {in 2017}

Dear MoveOn.org,

On the eve of 2017, I wanted to write and share my views on the many, many, many petitions you’ve requested that I sign throughout this last year.

Censuring Ted Cruz for His Hillary Clinton “Spanking” Comments

I got a good chuckle out of your January 11 petition requesting that Mitch McConnell censure Ted Cruz for saying that Hillary Clinton needed a “spanking.” It isn’t that I don’t appreciate your critique of his misogyny, but that I wonder if you really have any conception of how Ted Cruz and Mitch McConnell actually think. Mitch McConnell is no more going to censure Ted Cruz for sexism than Harry Reid is going to censure Bernie for claiming the word of God is not inerrant.

MoveOn.Org’s Ignorant Obsession with GMOs

This thing about the GMOs has got to stop. Yes, we don’t know everything about GMOs. But this statement applies to just about everything else in the world too. I can’t be sure that the battery in my MacBook Pro isn’t about to burst into flames as I type this, but I’m not sure that warrants a petition to the FDA to cease all laptop manufacturing because “the Samsung Galaxy has shown we don’t understand all the possible ways electronics could fail.” I was particularly put off by your March 1 petition to the UN in which you stated that “the CRISPR gene editing technology used to create GMOs is essentially a form of state-sanctioned witchcraft.” I’m OK with an occasional petition to urge companies to label their GMO products. But I’d prefer to see at least some of this anti-GMO energy going to other important causes, like protecting the diversity of life in our oceans.

Banning Pesticides, Cell Phones, and Modernity of All Kinds

I found your May 31 petition to the FDA to “Immediately ban the use of the dangerous neonicotinoid pesticides that are killing bees,” a bit disingenuous since only two weeks before, I’d signed your petition calling on the FCC to “Temporarily ban the use of all cell phones due to potential threats posed to bee populations by cellular radio frequencies.” And the claim, made within that same cell phone banning petition, that “Americans could switch to using landlines with really long cords in the interim” seems to strain credulity as much as it would strain said cords. Also, while I have a great deal of empathy for the plight of our bees, I think we should acknowledge that there are other animals that are in need of our protection. Like, for instance, sea turtles.

Your Petition to Allow a Petition (for Bike Lanes)

I’m confused by your August 19 email requesting feedback about whether or not to allow fellow MoveOn member Aaron Caldwell to circulate a petition for adding bike lanes in Landover, MD. Wouldn’t circulating the actual petition have the same effect? It seems redundant and an inefficient use of my petition signing time, especially given the pressing issues surrounding sea turtles in Marco Island, FL.

Blocking Trump’s Cabinet Appointments

Finally, it is still unclear to me if your November 23^rd petition requesting that the Senate block all of the President-elect’s cabinet selections and move to have the entire cabinet filled with the original broadway cast of RENT is meant to be taken seriously or as satirical critique. Don’t get me wrong, if it is satire, it is brilliant. It would force the GOP to confront their inept treatment of LGBT issues, AIDS, racial relations, and class warfare. If this was intended to be taken seriously, however, I would again suggest MoveOn try to stay focussed on issues that can actually achieve some momentum. Such as the dire state of the sea turtle population off the coast of Marco Island, FL.

In summary, please keep up the good work, but also please be more discerning in your choice of petitions to circulate. Not all issues warrant the attention of every MoveOn.org member. Not all issues are issues upon which some reasonable amount success can be expected. In short, not all issues are nearly as central to moving along our democracy as, say, calling on all hotels in Marco Island, FL to shut off the lights on oceanfront rooms during sea turtle egg laying season.

Sincerely,
A Fellow MoveOn Member