Today is a good day to have a good day. Oh really? We’ll be the judge of that. Inspirational posters might lead you to believe that every day could be the best day of your life, but considering that only ONE day can truly be the best day of your life, the odds are already stacked against you. Fear not! We’ve ranked the Days of the Week from worst to first to help you decide whether you should seize the day, or just merely attempt to survive it.
“Not Monday?” you ask. While you might be ready to revoke my credentials, consider this: Labor Day, Memorial Day, Martin Luther King Day… you get the idea? Going back to the office may make Monday seem like the worst, but occasionally, the calendar people throw us a bone. And even if it’s not the caboose of a three-day weekend, 17 weeks a year, we also get Monday Night Football. You know what day of the week has neither days off from the ole grind nor nights on the ole gridiron? You guessed it, Tuesday, also known as the worst day there is.
Let’s not get carried away, folks. Just because Monday isn’t the worst, doesn’t mean it’s not truly awful. If you are at work and it’s only Monday, that means you have the most possible days before the weekend, which drags Monday down to No. 6 on the Power Rankings.
Picture this: You wake up all excited. You’ve made it! The end of the week. You put on your Casual Friday attire and stroll into work, ready to defeat the shortened, final work day. Then you realize, it’s actually Thursday and you have twice as many days keeping you from the weekend as you thought. And if you have a jerk boss, you might be fired for dressing too casual. So now, you’re unemployed and still bummed that even though you have the day off, your friends still have to work because they still have their jobs. If that’s not bad enough, you get on your social media of choice just to see a #tbt post of you from the middle school talent show. And now you understand why we’ve tried to rename it “Friday Eve.”
Christians be like—SUNDAY IS GOD’S FAVORITE DAY. And because that accounts for 31.5 percent of the world, that’s going to get you pretty high up on the list on its own. But while Sunday has devine favoritism and #SundayFunday activities, it also has that #SundayScaries feeling. It’s the last hoorah before we wind up back at work. And sometimes this dread is so dreadful that it prevents you from making a funday of your Sunday.
HUUUUMMMMMMMP DAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! This power ranking isn’t sponsored by GEICO, but boy did Wednesday make the most of its resources. The only day great enough to have its own commercial and talking animal mascot, so it’s bound for a podium finish. But unfortunately for Wednesday, the Hump Day commercial is kind of annoying after about the fifth time, which is going to limit the potential for this overperforming day of the week.
Friday? More like Friyay, amirite? It’s finally the end of the work week and since you didn’t follow that one guy’s advice and get a job you love, this week alone, you’ve already worked four days of your life. But Friday is the one day of work that is the whole reason you do whatever it is you do: payday. So hit that time clock and hit the town for a well deserved night off. Going to the movies, the club, a concert, or the bars seems odd on a Tuesday night, but not Friday, baby. But stay in if you want. The great thing about Friday is you don’t have to do anything, except go to work for a few lousy hours.
Saturday Night’s alright, but you can have the whole darn day to do whatever you want, which earns Saturday the top spot of the week. Whether you want to catch up on chores around the house, watch cartoons, hang with friends, start a new hobby, or just sleep until Sunday, you’re winning the day! If you have a nice Monday-Friday job, that means you are free to go shopping, go to brunch, or find other ways to terrorize those who aren’t lucky enough to have weekends off. It’s like Friday without the commitment, Sunday without the dread, and not at all like Tuesday. So enjoy the best day of the week while you can, because it won’t last forever.