This locksmith was sure he had love on lockdown, but maybe you really do need the keys to get into someone’s heart. Pity, really.

Look, nobody MEANT to run you over. So how about we call the whole thing off, here. How about we meet at Dennys and bury the almost literal hatchet?

America’s 3 favorite days: from preparation to gluttony to the aftermath. When you face off against Thanksgiving, you are the winner AND the loser.

You knew the New York Times had a bestseller list. But did you know they’re also keeping track of last place? The worst titles you’ll ever read.

When your wife asks for ketchup on her eggs, should you divorce her? Sometimes a woman’s cravings are just too much biology to bear.

A comedic poem for all dairy lovers and intolerators. The triumph and tragedy of the mammalian gift of creamy, delicious dairy.

Looking to get some quality “me time?” There’s a little-known sushi restaurant where you get treated like the royalty you are, Mr. Pokomon.

For this week’s BODY ISSUE writing prompt, John decided to take on some erotica… rather unsuccessfully. Read with caution. NSFW.

In-N-Out’s “secret menu” is not much of a secret. But you’ve likely never heard of these hidden menu items at McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, and beyond.