An Incomplete and Growing List of Things I Can Do {Besides Opening this Free People Catalog}

Hula hoop

Put away laundry

Experience the oppressive guilt knowing the world is on fire but we’re still buying shoes

Like, actual work

Pet the kitties

Get a quote for The Prompt Mag tube socks

Donate to a vetted Ukrainian relief fund

Sweep

Sit-ups

Tennis elbow rehab

Complete the latest Gallup Panel survey

Crush my friend’s dreams by sending him Before/After photos demonstrating that all celebz have work done

Deal with the low pressure in my tire

Stop bullshittin’ and actually contribute something to the MCU

Hydrate

Finish working on my papier-mâché mirror

Active stretching

Learn ASL

LED light therapy

Knock off Margiela jeans; save $560

Marinate chicken

Kundalini breathing

Realize that the last 3 times I purchased from Free People resulted in going to the store to return it

Be glad the last 3 times I purchased from Free People resulted in going to the store to return it

Try to take in lesson the last 3 times I purchased from Free People resulted in going to the store to return it

Be water