In honor of one of my favorite memes of 2017, Evil Kermit the Frog, I decided to have a whole chat/pep talk/reality check with myself about this “marriage” thing. In this case, my Kermit is probably actually Ms. Piggy in a Veil, oh wait, no, they broke up and the new broad probably isn’t tripping about being married or else Kermit wouldn’t be with her either. I digress, but here we go.
Me: Don’t be dramatic you’ve been a bridesmaid all of one time, chill out. Granted, you were the Maid of Honor in your younger sister’s wedding and 4 months later your nearly 10-year relationship went caput. But relax.
Also me: First of all, I’m past it, thank you. But this is a wonderful opportunity to discuss the “plague.”
Me: I’m all ears, but you still have to give people room to do their thing, not everyone has reached your stage of enlightenment.
Also me: Fair, but I’m just saying, what if I’m a bridesmaid FOREVER… So. What.
Me: Please don’t be a bridesmaid forever. I’ve got plans.
Also me: Well, we’ll just have different plans, because what we won’t do again is settle. I’m not interested in being a glowing bride for a day and then an unhappy wife. HARD PASS.
Me: But you’re supposed to grow up and be married, start a family, buy a house, and live your version of the dream.
Also me: My version of the dream could also be visiting all the continents, well six of them, because I’m good on Antarctica. Seeing the world, flitting in-and-out of dope places with dope people.
Also me: Maybe? Maybe not? I mean what is actually so awful about being solo?
Me: You’re just saying that because “that’s where you are right now.”
Also me: You could be absolutely right or wrong—I don’t know yet because we haven’t gotten there. I’m not going to let the search for “the one” consume me. My cousin was joking the other day that my five homegirls made up “the one” for me. But I actually took that to heart.
Me: That’s cute and all, but you can’t have offspring with any of them.
Also me: So are kids actually all we think they are? I mean reeaallyyyy? I mean how much globe-trotting can you do with little ones? And then forget about the discretionary income.
Me: You don’t even believe that, I’m so not here for you right now. No, not even.
Also me: You right, ha.
Me: I know.
Also me: But seriously the world will not stop if I’m always a bridesmaid. I’ll be the super fly aunt/godmom/homegirl who plans all the trips that my “wife” friends will so look forward to being on and can live vicariously through me as I spill all my adventures. I have amazing friends who love and support me, single or otherwise.
Me: And you think you can be genuinely happy doing so?
Also me: I hope so. I don’t know, all I know is what each day brings. Of course I want all those things, but those aren’t the only things. I refuse to be debilitated by fear of the unknown.
Me: “Debilitated by fear of the unknown”? Girl, I just want you to get a man.
Also me: Me too, when it’s right. I’m not just tryna do it to do it.
Me: So I’m proud of you, you’ve got this glow, this confidence.
Also me: Ahaaa. Thanks girl.