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These are The Prompt’s own biweekly* NFL Power Rankings, where we rank all of the things that matter. We apologize in advance for any jokes that offend your sensibility or analysis that offends your favorite team. All pictures from this article are presented (however poorly) by the authority of The Prompt and may not be reproduced or retransmitted in any form, and the accounts and descriptions of this Microsoft Paint artwork may not be disseminated without express written content.

* I’ll do my best.

Sometimes the League leaves me at a loss for words. Blame it on the atrocious games, the great games ruined by atrocious officiating, or the borderline dead bodies being dragged off the field during a promo for the newest Amazon Prime romantic comedy. I’m sure I’ll be back in a week or two but these will have to do in the memetime…

1. Concussions


2. People Who Don’t Watch Thursday Night Football


3. Kansas City Chiefs


4. Josh Allen Fantasy Owners


5. Dallas Cowboys


6. Tom Brady


7. New York Football!

8. New England Patriots


9. Baker Mayfield


10. Jacksonville Jaguars’ 2023 Draft Pick

Also Receiving Votes: 

Mike Stiriti

Mike Stiriti once dreamed of anchoring SportsCenter back when that was a thing. Now he just tries to be funny.

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