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These are The Prompt’s own biweekly* NFL Power Rankings, where we rank all of the things that matter. We apologize in advance for any jokes that offend your sensibility or analysis that offends your favorite team. All pictures from this article are presented (however poorly) by the authority of The Prompt and may not be reproduced or retransmitted in any form, and the accounts and descriptions of this Microsoft Paint artwork may not be disseminated without express written content.

* I’ll do my best.

We’re 9 weeks into an 18-week regular season, so it’s time to take a step back and survey the professional football landscape. This is a rare occurrence, it happens maybe once a year, but here are The Prompt NFL Power Rankings’ version of actual NFL power rankings (!!!)…


Tier 1: The Only Team In The League To Not Embarrass Themselves Multiple Times

Philadelphia Eagles


Tier 2: Super Bowl Contenders On A Collision Course For The AFC Championship Game

Buffalo Bills

Kansas City Chiefs


Tier 3: Super Bowl Contenders If Their Quarterback Can Play Well In The Playoffs For The First Time In Their Career

Baltimore Ravens

Dallas Cowboys


Tier 4: Congratulations On Having A Surprisingly Successful Regular Season, Enjoy Your Playoff Loss

Minnesota Vikings

Miami Dolphins

Seattle Seahawks


Tier 5: The Best .500 Team In Recent Memory And My Pick To Go To The Super Bowl

San Francisco 49ers


Tier 6: They Have Looked Great But Will Undoubtedly Come Crashing Down

New York Jets

New York Giants

Tier 7: Not Sure If They’re Good But They Clinched a Playoff Spot in September

Tennessee Titans


Tier 8: It’s Time to Admit That They Suck This Year

Tompa Bay Bucs

Cincinnati Bengals

L.A. Rams


Tier 9: They Aren’t Good, But They’re Frisky

San Diego Chargers

New Orleans Saints

Atlanta Falcons

Washington Commies

Chicago Bears

New England Patriots

Cleveland Browns


Tier 10: Teams Slowly Killing Al Michaels

Denver Broncos

Arizona Cardinals

Las Vegas Raiders

Jacksonville Jaguars

Pittsburgh Steelers


Tier 11: Bryce Young Sweepstakes

Etroit Lions (no D)

Carolina Panthers

Indianapolis Colts

Houston Texans


Tier : Face It, They’re the Worst Team in the League

Green Bay Packers

Also Receiving Votes: Georgia Bulldogs

Mike Stiriti

Mike Stiriti once dreamed of anchoring SportsCenter back when that was a thing. Now he just tries to be funny.

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