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To all the slackers, the slouches, the loafers, the loungers, and anyone else who may be living life from the sidelines:

Hello, or should I say

I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your life participation grade. It’s a #fail.

Because, dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to more than get through this thing called life. We are here to live ferociously‎, audaciously, courageously. Vicariously through ourselves.

is exactly the malarkey I’m talking about! When did it become not just acceptable, but downright desirable to be a bum?! It’s time to say #ByeFelicia to these memes that lionize laziness.


Yes, once. I had food poisoning. By 7 o’clock I hated my pathetic self so much that I splashed cold water on my face, went for a walk, and witnessed the richest, most colorful sunset.

Living boldly doesn’t have to mean wingsuit base jumping. Sometimes it’s as simple as discovering a evocative new song or cracking open a cold one with the boys.

Hey girl? Delete your account. No, seriously, it’s encouraging anti-social behaviors. lol

OK, I get it, you’re more of an introvert. Then be a good friend to yourself and try something new. Better yet, be your own worst frenemy and compete with yourself every day to be better than the person you were yesterday.

…is the worst advice I’ve ever seen on a sweatshirt. Bring back the days of No Fear and The Rest Is Just Details. tees.

Carpe diem.
Carpe PM, too.

No, that doesn’t just mean Netflix and Chill; I can name a more iconic duo.

Netflix is great! But you know what’s better than Netflix? Being the star of your own life. Orange is the New Black is based on Piper Kerwin’s memoir about actually being incarcerated. Master of None gives us #allthefeels because Aziz Ansari drew inspiration from his own experiences. Narcos is only as #savage as the life that Pablo Escobar lived. Black Mirror will be #allofus if we don’t cash ourselves ousside every once in a while, howbow dah?

Make memories, not memes. If you’re doing it right, they’ll become memes anyway. Felix Baumgartner didn’t set out to appear in snapshots with pithy ALL CAPS IMPACT FONT captions. Felix Baumgartner’s #goals were to break skydiving records—and the sound barrier along the way. Now that’s #goalsAF.

At the end of the day, time is the only thing you can’t make more of. And whether you’re always punctual or perpetually late, it’s never, ever enough.

Live the life you have and die a legend.
…That way, you’ll live forever.

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Jillian Conochan

Jillian Conochan is a professional amateur; writing and editing just happen to be two current pursuits. Opinion range: strong to DNGAF.

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