Jilly on the Street: {Pumpkin Spice} Edition!

It’s ba-aack! Pumpkin Spice has made its 2017 debut, and once again reigns supreme as everybody’s favorite fall flavor. Or does it? Let’s take to the streets and find out the milieu for #PSL and all its orange-headed stepchildren.

1. “Pumpkin Spice tastes like…

…summer’s dashed dreams.”
—Kalani, surfer/model, 26

…tears from a jack-o-lantern.”
—Amanda, recruiter, 33

…18 parts ground cinnamon, 4 parts ground nutmeg, 4 parts ground ginger, 3 parts ground cloves, 3 parts ground allspice. Isn’t it obvious?”
—Bart, flavor scientist, 47

…it’s fixin’ to become an artisan mouthwash flavor.”
—Tammi, MILF, 39

…white bitches (thot thot thots).”
—Migos, hip hop trio, mid-20s

2. “Pumpkin Spice smells like…

…my favorite season!”
—Autumn, Penn State Class of ’20, 19

…Autumn’s here.”
—TJ, Autumn’s little brother, 16

…NOPE. Bad experience with the Pumpkin Spice. Pinnacle makes a pumpkin pie vodka and—let’s just say I can’t be exposed to Pumpkin Spice anything anymore.”
—Nicole, physical therapist, 25

…I’m drinking a friggin’ candle.”
—Drew, transmission mechanic, 48

3. “Pumpkin Spice sounds like…

…ca$h registers ringing.”
—Howard Schultz, executive chairman and former CEO of Starbucks, 64

…you just started drinking coffee. Lemme guess… light and sweet?”
—Damien, barista, 31

…a fire pit crackling. Fall is in the air!”
—Chloe, programmer, 43

…a basic bitch’s cry for help.”
—Lil Duval, comedian, 40

4. “Pumpkin Spice looks like…

…the accessory du jour, Fall 2013 & 2014.”
—Tyler, publicist, 29

…a lack of transparency.”
—Vani Hari, the Food Babe, 38

…my new manicure, look!”

—Carissa, insurance adjuster, 37

…a trend we somehow missed?”
—Benjamin Moore, paint company, 134

5. “Pumpkin Spice feels like…

…August is too bloody early to break it out.”
—Chase, EMT, 29

…I could use one of those splash sticks. Burning my goddamn hand off! Can somebody get me a napkin?!”
—Ted, investment banker, 40

…Honestly? Like the beginning of the 15 pounds I put on every winter.”
—Franki, retail associate, 26

…this, basically.”

—Kate, recluse, 32