An Incomplete and Growing List of People My Dog Seems to Love More Than She Loves Me

My partner.

My brother.

My sister.

Various people with cheese.

My father.

My mother.

The bigger woman from the lesbian couple that lived down on 1st whose name I never learned.

My former neighbor Sarah.

My former neighbor Kai.

My former neighbor Mark, which I totally understand.

Various exes, if I’m being honest.

My former roommate Alex.

My other former roommates.

John G.

Adrienne M.

Anyone else who’s ever dog-sat for me.

A person who I am pretty sure is a PGA Tour golfer we met on a walk today.

All people glimpsed through car windows.

Barack Hussein Obama