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Our dads taught us to be prepared, do our best, and not to wait till the last minute. For once in our lives, we’re going to listen to our dads and follow their advice by starting our Father’s Day celebration early. Dads give all kinds of fatherly advice. Here are just a few of the gems we’ve heard through the years.
1) Fatherly Advice on Overeating
Submitted by Jillian Conochan
My father’s father was a man who forewarned, “Be true to your teeth, or they’ll be false to you.” So there was no escaping it; my own father was destined to bestow advice in the form of one-liners.
On a good night’s sleep: *whistle* *point towards the stairs* “Why don’t you catch an early night?”
On temperance: “Save some, spend some,” accompanied by an unscheduled dollar dropped on our dresser. Note this was decidedly NOT an allowance.
Occasionally he was even clairvoyant, declaring as early as 1989, “Donald Trump should be publicly smacked.”
Probably his most famous bit of fatherly advice was “When you’re done, you’re done.” Spoken mostly at the dinner table to curtail overeating (which could end in a most unfortunate American fate—and another trademarked one-liner, “FAT PEOPLE… with FAT KIDS… driving FAT CARS”), “when you’re done, you’re done” helped Kelaine get out of finishing her most notorious vegetable, peas, and while I can’t remember a time that I didn’t eat every last morsel of a meal, I reserved the right to at any time.
There was one time when my cousin Brian tried to invoke “when you’re done, you’re done.”
“Dad?” Kelaine called from the dining room to the kitchen, where The Parents sat. “I’m finished.”
“Well, you know what I always say,” my dad answered. “When you’re done, you’re done.”
“Mom?” skinny little Brian tried.
“What?”
“I’m finished.”
“Oh really? Well, you know what I always say. When you’re finished your dinner, you’re done.”
2) Fatherly Advice on Never Letting Them See You Sweat
Submitted by Jared Hutchinson
“Don’t put your hands on your knees when you’re tired, grab your shorts.”
3) Fatherly Advice on Winning Over New Friends
Submitted by Monica McNutt
People think my dad is great, and he is. They also think he’s this amazing extrovert, which is where they go wrong. He’s mastered thoughtfully-placed questions, well-timed nods, a good joke, and universal nickname. You know what else helps? A big smile and generous laughter. My dad hardly says much about himself, and people just spill their guts and think he’s great. They feel like he’s a friend. His easygoing manner puts everyone at ease. They’re all so comfortable around him. Little do they know this new “friend” calls them Jumpshooter because he doesn’t actually know their names. To this day I smile, ask good questions, and try my hardest to remember names.
4) Fatherly Advice on Being Safe
Submitted by Dennis Mersmann
In high school, when I head out on a Friday or Saturday night my mom would have a laundry list of vices I should avoid: don’t drink anything, don’t smoke anything, don’t do drugs, if you drink or do drugs don’t drive (I was to call my parents for a ride if I did drugs or alcohol), don’t be in a girl’s bedroom, and on and on. This list would be delivered as I was standing at the door, one foot outside, sometimes with a friend waiting for me.
My dad, who would be on the couch reading or watching TV, would chime in, “Let him leave.”
“OK, Fred. I just want him to be safe.”
Dad would look at me and say with a grin, “Have fun. Be smart,” and then add to my mom, “That’s all you gotta say.”
I alway liked that the phrase “Have fun. Be smart,” acknowledged 1) that I was old enough and intelligent enough that I didn’t need a set of rules to follow, and 2) having fun and being smart didn’t require following the rules.
5) Fatherly Advice on Sportsmanship
Submitted by Jonathan Newby
Growing up, I always wanted to win at everything. Sports, card games, tag, you name it. My dad instilled a competitive nature in my siblings and me at a young age. One summer moment sticks out. I was probably 15 at the time, and my brother and cousin wanted to play 3-on-3 hoops against my dad, his childhood friend Johnny, and my uncle Rob.
We were confident (probably cocky) little shits heading into the game… and we got embarrassed. After losing, I drop-kicked the ball and didn’t shake a single hand. I was the epitome of a poor sport, and it was not a split-second later that my dad taught the importance of being respectful even in the midst of defeat. He yanked me by the shirt and yelled at me in front of the entire crew.
The essential lesson was immeasurably valuable: You will lose. Your teams will lose. And when that happens, never lose sight of the important things in life. When you win, or your teams win, always respect the opponent… and then go nuts. I am forever grateful for this.
6) Fatherly Advice on Timeless Phrases
Submitted by Mike Vaughan-Cherubin
As I get older, I find myself repeating many of the same phrases my Dad said to us kids when we were growing up. Half the time, they come spilling out of my mouth before I even remembered that I remembered them. I say some of them so much that friends and co-workers know them by heart, in some cases without ever meeting my dad. Here is an incomplete list of some of my favorites:
“Choice” – Refers to the best bite of an apple, steak, or really any type of food.
“Head Down and Power Through” – What he said to us kids when we needed to finish a project or work assignment.
“Baby Tourist” – Refers to kids exhausted from doing tourist stuff. They could be throwing a fit or simply fast asleep on the lawn of some museum.
“Be Good to Each Other” – What he said when leaving us kids alone for a few hours or days.
“Try Reading a Book” – A common refrain, recited before I went out with my friends. As in, “Would it kill you to just stay home one night and just read a book?”
“Fun In Excess, Drink in Moderation” or “FIEDIM” – This may be his crowning achievement (by his own admission). An acronym said to any of the younger generation before a night on the town. Basically, “you don’t have to drink that much to have a good time, you stupid kids.” (These last two make me think he spent a lot of time making sure we didn’t drink too much.)
When I find myself repeating these phrases, here is what hits me; my dad was having fun. Almost every time he said any of these phrases he was smiling (or smirking) or laughing. I think that’s why it makes me so happy to repeat them.
What’s the best fatherly advice you’ve ever received? Tweet us or let us know on Facebook. We’d love to hear from you!
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