Pythia Defool’s advice column, “Ask Roger,” was a mainstay in the Chattanooga Tribune from 1976-1983. It was later renamed “Ask Pythia” following the landmark Supreme Court Case, Lady v. Florida, which granted women the right to have their names appear in print. Dear Pythia is a revival of her classic advice column and is composed in beautiful downtown Tampa Bay. For advice, email DearPythia@Gmail.com
I need to stock up for quarantine but don’t want to contract the Coronavirus from a fellow shopper. What can I do to ensure people keep their distance while I’m buying food and paper bags (in lieu of toilet paper)?
— Scared Shopless
My second husband, Harold, was an equestrian proctologist. When Harry would come home from the horsepital he smelled like he’d had his hands up a Clydesdale’s ass, which was usually the case. Needless to say, I know a thing or two about social distancing.
If other shoppers aren’t giving you the space you need to avoid the fastest spreading virus since R. Kelly’s college tour, then try deploying some of these social distancing tricks:
Good luck and remember that even when an invisible menace isn’t bearing down upon us, you still deserve some personal space.