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On Friday November 18th, a Maggiano’s in Washington, D.C. unknowingly hosted a 100-person dinner put on by the National Policy Institute, a group of alt-right white nationalists. This is a transcript from that reservation phone call. 


MAGGIANO’S: Thank you for calling Maggiano’s Little Italy restaurant where family comes first. How can I help you?

CALLER: I would like to make a reservation on Friday at 6 P.M. for a party of 100.

MAGGIANO’S: Wonderful! We would love to host your event. What is the name of your organization?


MAGGIANO’S: Sir? Are you still there?

CALLER: Um, yes.

MAGGIANO’S: I thought I lost you. What was the name of your organization?

CALLER: We’re, um, the Happy Fun Time Love group.

MAGGIANO’S: Well that sounds like a great mission.

CALLER: Yup. So I actually had a few questions for you.

MAGGIANO’S: Of course.

CALLER: You’re an Italian restaurant.

MAGGIANO’S: That’s right.

CALLER: Would you say you are more traditional Italian?

MAGGIANO’S: I’m not sure I know what you mean.

CALLER: Like Italy in the early 1940s.

MAGGIANO’S: We call it classic Italian. All the recipes your grandmother would have cooked.

CALLER: Is all the food cooked by pure Italians?

MAGGIANO’S: Our head chef trained in Sicily at Casa Vecchie. That’s as pure Italian as you can get.

CALLER: Right. Right. Let me rephrase the question. Would you say your restaurant has any African or Latin fusion?

MAGGIANO’S: …What organization did you say you are with?

CALLER: Never mind. I just had a few requests for the menu.


CALLER: We would like the signature cocktail to be a white sangria.

MAGGIANO’S: OK, we can do that.

CALLER: We would like the salads dressed with a white balsamic vinaigrette.

MAGGIANO’S: We can do that.

CALLER: For the main entree, we would like linguine with a white clam sauce.


CALLER: And for dessert, we’ll have the double chocolate brownie.


CALLER: is it possible to get the brownie with white chocolate?


CALLER: And vanilla ice cream.


CALLER: And white powdered sugar.

MAGGIANO’S: I’m going to have to transfer you to my manager.

CALLER: Never mind. We’ll see you on Friday.

MAGGIANO’S: Thank you for choosing Maggiano’s.

CALLER: You’re welcome. Heil Hitler!

MAGGIANO’S: Wait, what?



Cal James

Cal James is an author, improviser, filmmaker, and entrepreneur. His memoir, “I Guarantee You Love, Fame and Legacy” follows his journey through self-realization as a comedian.

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