If your boyfriend play Fortnite, you single to me. What’s Kyle gonna do, build you a house made of binary code? You can just live with me in one of mine; I have four.
If your girlfriend believes climate change is a hoax, you single to me… wtf Angela gon do, be here in 50 years? 🔥🌊🌎☄️💀🥀
If you Camila Cabello, you single to me. What’s Shawn Mendes gon do? SRSLY
If your girlfriend a girlfriend, you single to me. WTF she gonna do? Get denied the right to visit you in a vegetative state after a car crash and make the subsequent heart-wrenching legal decisions about your finances, health, well-being due to her lack of legal status as your spouse?
If your girlfriend a notary, you single to me… wtf Rhoda gonna do? Certify my dopeness?
If your girlfriend does Soul Cycle, you single to me… what Megan gonna do? Spend 40 bucks a week on nitro brew?
If your girlfriend lactose intolerant, you single to me… wtf Marni gonna do? Make lasagna with cashew water?
If your bunt goes between and pitcher and 3rd baseman, who is sitting back behind the bag, and you quick AF down the line, you a single to me.
Did I do it wrong?
If you’re girlfriend likes “Twilight,” you’re single to me. What’s she going to do? Send some sparkling vampires after me?
Find us online and tell us why if you write for @thepromptmag you may as well be single—hit us with your best shot!