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Blaine wanted three things when his first big commission check came in.

  1. A really nice watch
  2. A lifelike punching dummy
  3. Tony Robbins’ CD program “Get the Edge,” including the first week of his other program “Personal Power”

As Blaine’s roommate, I was happy that his job selling linen contracts to restaurants was going well. But I had questions about his list. I could understand the watch—a sharp timepiece would convey success in future business dealings. I could understand the punching dummy. We were just out of college and needed a means to get out our twenty-something angst. But for the life of me I could not understand why Blaine wanted to listen to Tony Robbins. I didn’t really know Tony’s whole deal, but I had the vague feeling that he was selling something he couldn’t deliver on.

The commission check arrived and Blaine purchased all the items on his list.

One night we made the trip from our home in Hyattsville, Maryland to go drinking and pick up girls in Baltimore. We successfully drank and unsuccessfully picked up girls, eventually crashing at a friend’s house. The next morning, Blaine popped Day 5 of Personal Power into the CD player in his car as we drove home. Over the next hour, Tony broke down the topic of relationships in a way I had never heard before. Maybe it was emotional rawness from our hangovers. Maybe it was the fact I had just ended a 5-year relationship with my high school/college girlfriend.

All I knew was that Tony was talking directly to me and I wanted to hear more.

I devoured Tony’s CD programs. Under his audio tutelage I created a mantra:

Fortune favors me!

There is a divine plan of goodness for my life.

There is a divine plan of goodness for my work.

People are excited to work with me.

With knowledge, virtue, ability, dedication, and passion, I shall succeed at any endeavor!

I said this mantra in the morning while taking deep breaths.
Tony said to do 5 seconds breathing in, 20 seconds holding your breath, and 10 seconds exhaling to get maximum oxygen to your bloodstream.

I said this mantra while drinking a “green drink.”
Tony said to keep your body more alkaline and less acidic to have more energy and lasting health. Lots of veggies, no meat.

I said this mantra while creating written goals with achievable outcomes.
Tony said a Harvard study showed people with written goals had a ten times higher net worth than those without written goals.

I said this mantra while focusing on what I wanted. Not on what I didn’t want.
Tony said what you focus on creates your reality.

My iPod was packed with the best teachings of the best guru on the planet. I listened to the programs while I drove, making my car into a portable university.


In 2010, there was a huge snowstorm, and I didn’t go out to my car for a week. After the city thawed, I went to my car to be surprised to see snow on the interior. Did I leave a window open? No, someone had broken the passenger side window into my car and stolen my iPod.

I like to imagine the thief arriving back at his apartment, excited to enjoy his ill-gotten gains. He popped his earbuds in and hits random on my iPod’s shuffle. Then he heard Tony start explaining the 6 fundamental needs we have as humans:

  1. Certainty
  2. Uncertainty
  3. Love & Connection
  4. Significance
  5. Growth
  6. Contribution

The thief flashed back to his own father who modeled destructive behavior.

He realized that in that moment he could make a decision to change.
Tony says all change comes down to a moment of deciding.

He decided to forgive but be different than his family.
Tony says to love your family but pick your peer group.

He went out and surrounded himself with go-getters.
Tony says we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.

He started his own business and was wildly successful.

But the thief didn’t make it just about achieving the goal of money. He made it his goal to sustain his purpose.
Tony said a goal yields a sense of achievement. Purpose makes you something more.

Someday in the future, I hope to get a knock on my door from this rich and fulfilled former thief. He’ll thank me for helping him realize that all people make decisions to avoid pain or gain pleasure.

Tony said that.

And now, this former thief lived for pleasure. Then, he’ll give me a cashier’s check for $1 million from the sale of the tech company he founded with the knowledge from my iPod.

Tony’s teachings weren’t just theoretical; I put them to use in my actual life.

It was Halloween, and I was in a new relationship. My girlfriend and I went out to a rowdy post-college bar near Georgetown called McFaddens. I wore a mash up of costumes I had in my closet: a leather jacket and bandana plus a cross necklace and a Roman toga equaled Biker Jesus. My girlfriend had a store bought costume, sexy Rainbow Brite.

We partied as you might imagine Biker Jesus and Sexy Rainbow Brite would party, super hard. Beers turned to cocktails turned to shots. By the end of the night, we were sloppy and arguing. We stumbled through our neighborhood after getting off the Metro, still arguing at full volume at 3 A.M. She accused me of something that wasn’t true.

I could have lashed back, but there was Tony in my head.

Like a little angel on Biker Jesus’ shoulder. I yelled back at her, “What do you have to believe to think that’s true?”

Tony says a lot of our thoughts are built on outdated, incorrect or limiting beliefs.

While the question didn’t go over well in the moment, I like to think it was the bedrock of a strong future relationship.

That girlfriend is now my wife. And I got her listening to Tony too.

I spent years of my life with Tony’s voice in my ear, but I had never seen the man in real life. Then I found out he was doing his signature live program Unleash the Power Within (UPW) 4 hours away in New Jersey. It was on.

I spoke to a few friends that also loved Tony. One friend was bringing all his employees to the event. Another friend was a true Tony devotee. He and his wife were part of Tony’s premier Platinum membership. They received front row tickets to all of Tony’s events for the year. The best part was they could each bring a guest to the event.

Just like Tony said, I focused on what I wanted, I made a decision to go, and then I manifested two free, front row seats. This stuff works!

The event was in a huge conference center with over 4,000 in attendance. We sat with the VIPs so we were cordoned off from the general public. Just getting us to our seats felt like a military operation.

It was part rock concert, part revival church experience.

When Tony hit the stage, the crowd went wild. He mentioned how excited he was to be there and came down into the audience, and—of all people—wrapped MY wife in a huge bear hug. I wanted very much to jump in on that hug but was worried what security would do if they saw me moving to jump on Tony’s back.

As Tony spoke and paced on the stage, whenever he came to my side it felt like he was looking me directly in the eye. This isn’t me saying “when Tony spoke I felt like I was the only person in the room.” He was legitimately making eye contact with me. I don’t know if you have ever been in this situation but if a speaker keeps looking at you in the eye, it makes you nervous that if he ever looks at you, and you’re not looking back, you could be responsible for derailing the whole conference. It’s a lot of responsibility to put on an audience member. I was laser focused to stare back at Tony so he knew I was picking up what he was putting down. This conference wasn’t going to fail on my watch.

Later on, Tony told a story about having success at a young age but not being ready for it.

He asked the audience to raise their hand if they had an answer to why he wasn’t ready for it. I raised my hand, along with another thousand people in the crowd. In my head I thought, “Of course he’s going to call on me, the guy’s been looking into my eyes for the last 3 hours.” And sure enough, he points to me.

For those keeping track, I am now talking to Tony Robbins. That voice in my earbuds and car stereo was now talking to me in real life. It was my moment to shine. To show Tony I had been paying attention for the last 5 years.

I responded, that he didn’t feel like he deserved the success. Then I waited with anticipation to hear Tony’s response.

“No that’s not it. What else could it be?” Then he pointed to another person and our conversation was over. Just like that, my shot came and went.

A lot more happened during that conference, including walking on hot coals.

Spoiler alert: it hurt. But when I look back, my most potent memory is how I answered his question. He had helped me train my brain to think a different way, a more productive way, an achieving way. But did I deserve that? Or in other words, did I want that?

I didn’t listen to Tony that much after the conference.

It felt like a graduation. He opened the door for me to other speakers that went deeper into “why are we here?” or maybe “are we even here?”

But Tony’s still in my head. Like riding a bike, when a new project pops up, I start right back into the “science of achievement“ and prepare to take Massive Action.

Tony says that… I think you get the point.

For now, I’m just going to sit back and wait for that iPod thief to deliver my check.

Cal James

Cal James is an author, improviser, filmmaker, and entrepreneur. His memoir, “I Guarantee You Love, Fame and Legacy” follows his journey through self-realization as a comedian.

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