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Vanity plates give you 8 alpha-numeric characters to make yourself known to the world. So, what would Trump’s vanity plate say? What would Biden’s? We asked our staff, and here’s what they had to say.

Zach Straus

Trump is clearly the type of guy who leases vehicles. Someone told him in 1974 “That’s what rich people do,” and he’s been on that game ever since. One car a year, probably, and he switches the plate every time. Here are his last four plates:


Ironically, Biden’s vanity plate pre-2016 was also LAWNORDR. Now it’s MLQTOAST.

Jennifer Racusin

Trump would keep it simple, keep it obvious, and keep it nasty. Nothing says “power” like letting the world know you are indeed a sexual predator. So I propose: P$$YGRAB

Or… my personal fav, a brain child of my shower thoughts, where “covfefe” kerfuffle becomes his HODOOR moment, warning us all about what was coming and now holds a place of honor on the front of a car: COVFEFE-19.

Natalie Brandt

Biden’s should be… “URFIRED”. As a nod to Trump’s famous catchphrase, Begala’s latest book, AND because we hope old Joe makes that true.

Mike Maiello

Well, Joe doesn’t drive; he takes Amtrak. But I see him carrying around a personalized plate anyway and it says, “JOEBAMA.”

Donald doesn’t drive; he’s driven around in a limo known as HAIRFORCE1. That’s too many letters, but Donald had Baron make a sticker “1” to add onto it.

Josh Bard

Joe Biden’s vanity plate probably says something like “JOETRAIN,” which is a nice complement to his bumper sticker that says “My other car is an Amtrak.”

Donald Trump has petitioned for his vanity plate to be longer than just 8 characters because when you are a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Unfortunately for him, the DMV has no patience for anyone’s bullshit and turns him down, so he ends up with “GODGUY” because he thinks he is God all the while the evangelicals tell themselves it’s just because he’s so religious.

Also he drives a Chinese made car decked out with MAGA branding.

Jillian Conochan

Well, Michael stole my Biden answer and it’s hard to trump Zach’s, so I’ll take my talents to Ms. Melania “Be Best”‘s plate, which definitely reads IDRCDU?

Heather Shaff

Trump would definitely have some kind of monster Chinese-built vehicle with ridiculous rims, illegal window tints, and an ego plate that says something like UBOW2ME.

Biden would be frantically gunning his 4-cylinder to catch up, head out the window yelling something that gets lost in the breeze, with a plate that says, DOUCME?

Michael’s response made me snort, I was laughing so hard.

Dennis William

Trump, being unimaginative and just the least creative narcissist in recorded history would have a plate that just says TRUMP. After being elected he might go with 45, or PRESIDNT after failing to argue the point that as president he should get nine letters and not have to condense the word “president.”

Biden would have DIAMNDJO, because I still think of him as character The Onion created for him.

And no, Trump cannot drive. He’s a rich New Yorker, two things that allow someone to avoid driving. And there’s no way his mind can negotiate a operating a vehicle on a busy street.

Here’s the real question: If he were with a group of people, when crossing a street with a moderate amount of traffic and without the aid of a crosswalk, how likely is it that Trump is the one deciding when to cross?

Tom Viehe

Mike peeked at the box hidden in his bottom right-hand drawer. His evening ritual. His friends had promised. The President has broken the law. No doubt about it. No way they could hold water for him. Just sit tight, stay quiet, and we’ll get you in there, they said. His fingers grazed the raised, blue letters spelling “Indiana” at the top and, center stage, spelling his future: POTUS. “One day,” he whispered. “Some day.”

The Prompt Staff

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