Phone: (212) New-York
(This number/letter arrangement was purely a coincidence. That, I think, means I belong here.)
Weight: 210 lbs, but I could lose some… or gain some?
Hair Color: Dirty-Blonde/Blonde-Adjacent/Brown
Eye Color: Emotional
Note: I don’t want to bullshit you. I do not have experience, in the traditional sense of the word. But, as Stella Adler said, “The theatre was created to tell people the truth about life and the social situation.” Below, please find some of my “truth about life and the social situation,” which I think speaks to the “experience” that really defines me as an artist.
My father, a tired lawyer, performed in a college production of Anything Goes at the University of Missouri in 1973, and every Thanksgiving, behind misty eyes and a double shot of Maker’s, discusses his performance as “his greatest feat.” Being an empathetic child, I felt like I was there, on the stage. Was I really? “Heaven Knows.”
I worked on a small, indie-set for a television concept called Ozark. My Dad, the tired lawyer, is General Counsel at a west-coast arthouse called “Netflix.” I served as Jason Bateman’s de facto acting coach a couple of times, employing techniques like staying out of his way and avoiding eye contact.
One evening, on the campus of an unnamed NESCAC liberal arts school (it was in Maine, and it wasn’t Bates or Colby) where I spent my formative years, I struck up a conversation with a young TA in the French department. As a mere junior in college, I did not hesitate when he asked me to his apartment to watch French film… and smoke a blunt. We drank Pabst and watched The 400 Blows, or, in French … This Blows 400x Over. I did not like the film, an opinion that in and of itself, is revolutionary. If I had been cast as the lead, I would have handled the final scene much differently—instead of playing mystified and scared as I reached the water, leaving the audience bored and in need of another blunt, I would never have left the boarding school at all. I would have studied hard and gotten into Bowdoin an unnamed NESCAC school. Also, I would have preferred to work with Paul Thomas Anderson as opposed to Jean-Luc GoDaddy.com, or whatever. Have you seen Boogie Nights?
Last week, I completed my Level 3 showcase at New York Improv Theater. As surely you’re aware, the New York Improv Theater is the fourth most prestigious theater in Midtown. While this is not acting experience in the traditional sense, it is an invaluable piece of the Performance Education. I am confident no other résumés will have Improv. See the next page for my headshot, a selfie with Horatio Sanz.
Because if you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much room.
P.S. – I’m an MFA candidate at Juilliard… but I didn’t know where to put that?