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Welcome back to a special edition of the Power Rankings, where we will dissect the best bets for Super Sunday. Some have said that people aren’t excited for the game this year due to the Patriots’ absence. I’m not saying that, but other people are. If you’re one of those people, here are some bets you can get excited about:

1. Will the result of the coin toss be HEADS (-105) or TAILS (-105)?

Here is a little gambling life hack for you to adopt moving forward: Get a win under your belt early. Any time I embark on a full day of betting, I like to make sure I start 1-0. On the Thursday of March Madness, I always bet the moneyline of the biggest favorite of the noon games. Not a big profit but a win is a win, and momentum is your friend.

Kick off your Sunday wagers with one that can’t lose. Everybody knows that commemorative coins tend to be heavily weighted on the Heads side, explaining Tails’ dominant 28-25 record over the previous 53 Super Bowls.

The pick: TAILS


2. How long will Demi Lovato take to sing the National Anthem: Over 2:04 (-125) or Under 2:04 (-105)

1:52 in 2008, 1:59 in 2015, and 2:12 in 2017. In the statistical community we call that a trend folks. Lovato is trending long and strong. I don’t care about the odds, this is as obvious as obvious gets.

The pick: OVER


3. Which team will call the first timeout: Chiefs (-105) or 49ers (-105)?

The pick: CHIEFS


4. Will the jersey number of the player to score the first touchdown be OVER (Even) or UNDER (-130) 26.5?

Okay, let’s break this down. Both the Chiefs and 49ers have balanced offenses with a bunch of different skill position players that could find the endzone. Right now there are no overwhelming favorites for the first player to score a TD. Raheem Mostert (#31), Tyreek Hill (#10), and Travis Kelce (#87) are all +800, while Damien Williams (#26) and George Kittle (#85) are +900. Other potential scorers with low numbers are Sammy Watkins (+1100), Deebo Samuel (+130o), Matt Breida (+1700), and Patrick Mahomes (+2000). The only high-numbered guy with better than 20-1 odds to score first is Jesus Christ that’s Kendrick Bourne at +1700.

Low numbers clearly have the advantage when it comes to bodies, but this isn’t medieval war, it’s prop betting. Give me San Fran’s best running back + a couple monster tight ends.

The pick: OVER


5. Total punts in the game: OVER (+105) or UNDER (-135) 7.5?

During last year’s Super Bowl fans were treated to a total of 14 punts by the Rams and Patriots. Fortunately for this year’s audience I don’t think we’ll see half that many. Usually picking the under is the boring thing to do, but not in this case.

The pick: UNDER


6. Will Jimmy Garoppolo throw an interception: YES (-180) or NO (+135)?

Assuming Jimmy escapes from the Bang Bus in time for kickoff, will he throw a pick? This wager depends on what type of game you predict we’ll see Sunday evening. If the 49ers are able to get a lead and run the ball then it is conceivable that Garoppolo takes care of the rock. I think we’re looking at a shootout because Mahomes is too dynamic for this to be a boring game. The Chiefs allowed the 8th-fewest passing yards in the NFL this season, and had the 5th-most interceptions.

The pick: YES


7. George Kittle Longest Reception: OVER (-130) or UNDER (Even) 22.5 yards?

The pick: OVER


8. Will any player finish with exactly 69 yards: YES (+690) or NO (-1290)?

Nice. Most of the O/U yardage totals are in the 50-75 range, so this is certainly in the ballpark. I mean… how can you not?

The pick: YES


9. What color will the liquid be that is dumped on the winning coach?

Not only is Lemon-Lime the GOAT sports drink flavor, but I was able to dig up some old footage of Andy Reid getting doused. I am picking the Chiefs to win, so this one is easy.

The pick: LIME/GREEN/YELLOW (+450)


10. Who will the Super Bowl MVP thank first after the game?

The options here are Teammates (+150), God (+300), Coach (+1200), Family (+1200) or Does Not Thank Anyone (+250). If the Chiefs are my pick then Mahomes has to be my MVP…

…good enough for me.

The pick: GOD

Mike Stiriti

Mike Stiriti once dreamed of anchoring SportsCenter back when that was a thing. Now he just tries to be funny.

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