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Welcome to The Prompt’s own weekly* NFL Power Rankings, where we rank all of the things that matter. We apologize in advance for any jokes that offend your sensibility or analysis that offends your favorite team. All pictures from this article are presented (however poorly) by the authority of The Prompt and may not be reproduced or retransmitted in any form, and the accounts and descriptions of this Microsoft Paint artwork may not be disseminated without express written content.

*Might be monthly this year, we’ll see…

Happy Summer, sports fans! In anticipation of the 2019 NFL season I have put together a quick little Top 40 countdown of everything and everyone coming in hot this year…

40. N’Keal Harry

39. Kliff Kingsbury

38. Kliff Kingsbury’s Offense

37. Single Women in the Glendale Area

36. Teams Playing Against Kliff Kingsbury’s Defense

35. Carli Lloyd

34. Jon Gruden on television

33. Frank Caliendo’s GOAT John Madden Impression

32. Sean McVay’s Wife

31. Spending August Pretending Fantasy Football Is Fun

30. Hova

29. Saquon Barkley

28. Fitzmagic vs. Chosen Rosen

27. The Patriot’s Schedule

26. Mike Vrabel

25. Wentz Wagon 3.0

16-24. Phillip River’s Kids

15. Cabo San Lucas

14. That Guy Who Knocks On The Hotel Room Door To Tell People They Were Inducted Into The Pro Football Hall of Fame

13. The Players Who Just Happen To Be In A Hotel Room With Their Family And A Camera Crew But Act Surprised

12. Tums

11. Pepto Bismol

10. Gronk’s “Retirement”

9. Camille Kostek

8. Bills Mafia

7. Aaron Rodger’s Relationship With His New Coach Seriously It’s Great

6. The Old Helmet

5. Odell Beckham Jr.

4. Baker Mayfield

3. Unrealistic Expectations of the Cleveland Browns

2. My Bookie

1. Tom Brady

Mike Stiriti

Mike Stiriti once dreamed of anchoring SportsCenter back when that was a thing. Now he just tries to be funny.

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