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Ever heard of Paris? Probably nonstop since The Chainsmokers wrote a song about it. What about Rome? As in the setting of The Lizzie McGuire Movie and where all of your parents’ friends rave about. It’s like, we get it, leave us something to figure out on our own.

Lets face it… while this blue green marble in the solar system is a vast and wondrous place, it’s all becoming so overplayed. What’s the point of even traveling if someone else already told you it was good?

Well fear not you curious unicorn-snowflake, your friends here at The Prompt have curated a list of the NOW-iest travel spots for 2017! Come on our tour of the world…

1) Punta de Manabique, Guatemala

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The problem with Central American travel is that people are figuring it out too quickly. So many beautiful secrets of the Western Hemisphere are now trampled tourist traps. Want proof? Think of Costa Rica, once named for its “rich coast,” now translates to “rich costs.”

But while you were deciding between Costa Rican surfing or ziplining, Nicaragua became the new Costa Rica, until that too was devastated by eco-tourism. Then Honduras was the new Nicaragua, which had been the new, now decrepit and disgusting Costa Rica.

Tourists burned through Central America like General Sherman’s March to the Sea, instead, leaving a trail of selfie sticks and SPF95. In fact, every sentence of you read about Central America, another 5 miles of untouched splendor becomes ravaged and used up.

Now we are left with Punta de Manabique, which is a fine enough consolation prize. A better fourth place option than Daniel Baldwin, for sure. It’s white sand beaches on the Caribbean are unsullied, filled with gorgeous wildlife and only mild Zika concerns.

BONUS! If Guatemala becomes compromised by Ritz-Carlton time-sharers wandering off-campus looking for “adventure,” Punta de Manabique is on a peninsula close to Belize. If the front of the tourism war interrupts your trip, just flee for the border!

2) Phnom Penh, Cambodia

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A paradise for foodies who aren’t afraid of a little grit and hustle. Cambodia packs a lot of history and FLAVOR into a such small country! Check out Angkor Wat and Siem Reap like a basic bitch, but if you really want to your food porn Insta account to impress, you cannot pass through Cambodia without diving headfirst (mouthfirst!) into the bustling street food scene.

Dine on authentic delicacies like congee and unlabeled local meats-on-sticks! You will find new flavors and—even better—your friends will fawn over your risk-taking and lack of ostentatiousness.

BONUS! When a new Cambodian restaurant opens in your neighborhood, guess who will be an expert! You, dummy!

3) St. Paul, Minnesota, United States

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Recently named one of America’s brunchiest cities by Thrillist! Minnesota is a treasure trove of treasures and troves, says Vice! Once an eyesore, now a place for eyes to soar, writes AV Club! A city bursting at the seams, it seems, jokes your father-in-law.

St. Paul is the heartbeat of Minnesota, which is only getting healthier and faster! St. Paul is a historic and classic twist on a modernizing city—AT THE SAME DAMN TIME! Come see what your trendier cities were, before they were chic!

BONUS! Besides Illinois, Minnesota was the only blue state in the Central Time Zone. Let’s throw it a bone!

4) Krakow, Poland

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2017 is definitely the year that Krakow joins the list of Eastern European gems, after being labeled “Belgrade, but with Pierogies” by Condé Nast Traveler.

Krakow has tapped into the bloated Game of Thrones tourism stream, with its gothic architecture and perpetual overcast weather. Those coming to see castled cities reminiscent of Bravos or Oldtown will also find themselves stumbling into a metropolis of culture, art, and history.

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Krakow is so loaded with quaint cobblestone neighborhoods and horse-driven transportation, you may forget all of your problems in the painstakingly modern world. But don’t worry, the only black plague you will encounter here is the thorough lack of ethnic diversity… unless you are into that kind of thing.

BONUS! In pronouncing Krakow, the Polish say “Krak-oof,” which is also what the locals utter instead of “facepalm.”

5) Pyongyang, North Korea 5 north korea

For years, Cuba was the keystone of must-visit destination lists. But, now that the U.S. has opened travel with its communist adversary, “The Pearl of the Antilles” no longer feels quite as… special. #ThanksObama. And now that Cuban cigars are easy to buy in the U.S., even smoking doesn’t seem so cool anymore. The air of mystery and intrigue has defected.

So, welcome to Pyongyang, North Korea! The capital city of our current communist foil. Pyongyang still has that seamy underbelly we all crave, while also offering conventional things like helicopter tours of its unique skyline.

North Korea is also a great city for photography enthusiasts! Wandering the streets of Pyongyang is stepping directly into Instagram’s Aden or Inkwell filters, which will have to suffice since you won’t be able to post your vacation pictures until you are outside of North Korea and its state-controlled internet. If they even let you out at all.

BONUS! No need to purchase an expensive cellular data plan!

6) Limassol, Cyprus

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Gosh this place is beautiful! The nature! The sky! The land!

OK, so we’re not sure what you are supposed do here, but we do know none of your lame “by the book” friends have ever been to Cyprus. So not only will you get to enjoy the splendors of wherever this is, but you can enjoy the extra splendors of talking about it in front of those uncultured peons when you get back home!

BONUS! For these purposes, you can replace Limassol, Cyprus with Abaro, Madagascar; Casamance, Senegal; or Twin Falls, Idaho—if you can find better deals on flights!

7) Staten Island, New York, United States

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Recently featured in HBO’s Girls and Amy Schumer’s Trainwreck, and notably home to Jersey Shore’s Snooki and The Situation, Staten Island’s allure is unquestionably on the rise!

Sure you could go to Manhattan or Brooklyn and be enriched with culture and history and art and cuisine and nature and diversity and beauty and innovation, but don’t you wish you invested in Apple before they unveiled the iPhone?

Besides, Staten Island is located in close proximity to all of those things, plus it has a ferry! And you may run into Lena Dunham!

BONUS! The Staten Island Ferry’s color is called “Municipal Orange” and designed to be seen through heavy fog and snow. Form AND function!

8) Antarctica, Antarctica

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This makes the list in 2017 mostly as a warning. Antarctica is in serious jeopardy.

Antarctica’s ice sheets are melting increasingly faster due to exposure to warmer water from rising global temperatures.

Climatologists and marine biologists worry about its sustainability. A large iceberg teeters on the brink of breaking off from the Larsen C ice shelf. These melting icebergs majorly impact the surrounding ecosystems. Blue whales, penguins, and seals will all be forced out of their homes. Eventually, melting runoff may affect nearby countries in South America and Australia.

BONUS! Antarctica is getting its first Romano’s Macaroni Grill in July!

Josh Bard

Josh Bard is a guy. A sports guy, an ideas guy, a wise guy, a funny guy, a Boston guy, and sometimes THAT guy. Never been a Guy Fieri guy, though.

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