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Every year, the end of the winter semester brings a sigh and a heavy heart to even the most hardened college sports fan. Finals loom on the horizon and the time for games is over. Even our most favorite student-athletes need to crack open the books, put pencil to paper, and make sure they’re staying eligible for their teams.

But a new season is just around the corner, bringing with it the chance to see our favorite teams in action again. And we can barely wait for the start of the 2017 season now that the Spring Break Training calendar has just been released. Our favorite all-stars are back in the saddle and ready to train hard for the most intense trip of their college careers. We’ve got the expected highlights of the most anticipated exhibition games below.


Brad and roommate Brett warm up in true Pi Chi style.

Gamma Sigma Beta at Pi Xeta Chi
March 3rd, 9 P.M.

The first possible opportunity to see how hard Brad has been crushing it lately will be March 3rd, at Pi Xeta Chi’s annual “Kegs and Eggs” party / breakfast bash. Fifth-year veteran Brad will lead the rest of the Pi Chis in the first of a 4-hour kegstand against their rivals in Gamma Sigma Beta. The smart money is on Brad and his reliable, dominant left field presence. Combined with Pi Chi’s home field advantage, they are sure to be contenders…

But watch for up-and-coming rookie Hunter to shake up the rankings. With an impressive chugging average, the freshman has a reputation for driving deep and scoring whenever he steps up to the plate (if his teammates don’t leave him stranded on second base, that is). We’ll see which of these two powerhouses emerge ready for a week-long session of bonging and ponging.


Cindy’s 3.2 GPA is about to plummet faster than an inside sinker.

Chesterton Hall 5th Floor Women at Chesterton Hall 4th Floor Women
March 11th, 11:30 A.M.

Eager to check out what Cindy’s been up to since last year’s disastrous debut at the infamous Engineering Student Society trip? According to the other members of the Chesterton Hall 5th Floor Women, rumor has it she’s been using herbal supplements in all her drinks in preparation for the March 6th showdown with the 4th Floor Women.

The night of the 6th, of course, hosts the university’s second-largest annual tradition, the all-campus charity Cheer-A-Thon. The largest annual tradition, which is pre-gaming the Cheer-A-Thon, promises to be one of the most exciting matchups in the Students Who Are Suffering Through Their Final Semester as Engineering Majors Before Switching to Political Science Division.


Ricky joined the marching band more for tripping on the road than the road trips.

Violent Outbursts at Louisville Motel 6
March 16th, 8:45 P.M.

Of course, we die-hard fans have all eyes on Ricky’s performance this Spring Break Training. We’re not sure he can top his accomplishments during last year’s trip to Cancun with the rest of the Violent Outbursts, the university’s renowned marching band. Every fan remembers how he dropped an astonishing 5 tabs of acid in a single night and came back from an unprecedented 0-3 rave deficit.

But he’s working on rounding out his routine. The Outbursts’ tuba section leader Daquan sums it up best: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone as versatile as [Ricky] is. They all say he’s a one-trick pony with a single pitch, but they’re only ever looking at his speed. His change-up is just as deadly to the unprepared; I’ve seen the strongest and fastest guys in the drumline strike out looking when he switches them up from meth to ecstasy.” We’ll see if Ricky can live up to the hype when the Outbursts march into action in an all-night double-bender after their first game on the road, March 16th.


BACsports

BAC Sports will keep you up-to-date with game coverage and analysis all the way up through the most contested Opening Day match-up, where the Off-Campus Finance Majors face off against the Co-Ed Exchange Students in Ibiza on March 19th. Stream the action live with the BAC Sports app and get to-the-minute coverage of all Tangerine and Prickly Pear League games.

Scott Michael

Scott is an ISTJ with an MA, and is usually MIA or AFK IRL. Interrobang him and win a prize.

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