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1. Always cold.

2. Surrounded by death and decay.

3. Ice-blue eyes that betray zero empathy.

4. Pale, wrinkled skin dotted with protrusions.

5. Never changes his outfit.

6. Doesn’t do smalltalk.

7. Peer group is nothing but gaunt men with unkempt hair.

8. Wholly unfamiliar with the concept of smartphones.

9. Strangely, babies seem to like him.

10. Obsessed with the notion of moving south.

11. Spent most of his life getting around on horseback, though has taken a few flights recently.

12. Would probably enjoy Pad Thai if he just gave it a chance.

13. Has taken life with a spear in wartime.

14. Might still have sex, but zero part of me wants to acknowledge that.

15. Refuses to show emotion. Like, ever.


The Night King: 1-15

My grandpa: 1-14 (Disqualified from #15 for sighing when he heard Ted Williams died.)

John Papageorgiou

John hosts a long running comedy radio show titled Papa's Basement. He also performs standup and improv and drummed once for a Unitarian church.

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