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I’ve decorated my shoebox with pictures of U.S. presidents, heart-shaped stickers, and all the puffy paint and glitter.

I am officially ready for Valentine’s Day!

Here are some Valentines I hope to receive from our previous Commanders-in-Chief. Be forewarned: there are a lot of Valentines from JFK.


Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’m usually silent
But I’d talk to you.

— Calvin Coolidge

 

In a crisis, Valentine?
You could be my bae… of Pigs.

— JFK

 

I’ll be honest:
I want you to be my Valentine!

— Abraham Lincoln

 

I’d cross the Delaware for you, Valentine!

— George Washington

 

Ask not what your Valentine can do for you
Ask what you can do for your Valentine…How ‘bout a big ol’ smooch!

— JFK

 

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I wrote a song on the sax
To play just for you!

— Bill Clinton

 

With you as my Valentine, it’s morning in America every day!

— Ronald Reagan

 

I shall resign the presidency, effective immediately..
Only if you’ll be my Valentine!

— Richard Nixon

 

You’re nowhere to be found on my enemies list, Valentine!

— Richard Nixon

 

READ MY LIPS… be my Valentine!

— George H. W. Bush

 

There’s no one I’d rather face down the Axis of Evil with than you, Valentine!

— George W. Bush

 

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
To prove my love
I’d take a shoe for you.

— George W. Bush

 

I know my fireside chats are addressed to the nation…
But I’m only talking to you, Valentine!

— FDR

 

I’ll make you a New Deal:
Be my valentine!

— FDR

 

I’m falling for you, Valentine
Like the stock market!

— Herbert Hoover

 

You can replace me on the $20 bill…
As long as you don’t replace me in your heart, Valentine!

— Andrew Jackson

 

Forget the moon—
The only place I want to go in this decade
is your heart! (and in your pants)

— JFK

 

Are you the Lily Ledbetter Act, Valentine?
‘Cause I want to sign our love bill into law!

— Barack Obama

 

Is the White House on fire
Or is it getting hot in here, Valentine?

— James Madison

 

Roses are Red (Room)
Violets are Blue (Room)
The Oval Office is lonely
And empty without you!

— The White House

Erin Vail

Erin is the 2003 West Reading Elementary Geography Bee champion, a TV obsessive, and never not thinking about Buffalo sports.

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