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Practice what you PREACH! 

We’re really trying to avoid these stupid internet buzzwords while still conveying the same question and point. What is “one weird trick” or a “lifehack” that you swear by? Some personal gospel that you would preach to all your friends, family, and followers as part of an enlightened path. You know, like a “drink water upside down when you get hiccups” kind of tip, or a product that actually works, or something that truly helps you write/sleep/think better.

Jillian Conochan

Hey, you!

camera zooms in on you as you point to your chest with a quizzical look on your face

Yeah, you!

look of recognition flashes across your visage

Is there a task you do weekly, nay daily, or maybe more, that is brainless but still requires your attention?

furrows brow in thought

Don’t make that face, you’ll get wrinkles.

opens mouth indignantly

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“Cha-Cha Slide” music begins playing faintly in the distance and you moonwalk, enlightened, out of frame

Shout out to Jason at Infragistics for teaching me this email razzle dazzle a decade ago. You too have been blessed by the email signature fairy!

Mikael Johnson


Give up on your Dream.

It’s time.

But it’s gotta be authentic.

And don’t be nice about it.

Dump your Dream’s ass on the doorstep.

Give it the finger, call it a “fat barrel of (animal + reproductive/waste fluid),” Byron Hadley style, and lock the door behind you.

Really slam the door and give a hearty laugh so your Dream gets the idea.

What’s that new feeling?

It’s the absence of a pouty self-centered inner child that long ago swore it had been “inspired” to throw YOUR life away.

Good news: Child Protective Services doesn’t exist for existential orphans.

Better news: An entire unlived life awaits.

What new path are you going to start?

Golf? Knitting?

Maybe don’t decide now.


Wonder who that could fucking be.

Answer it if you wanna answer it!

No… I hadn’t thought that far ahead.

(Opens door)

Awww… what a cute kid.

Dan Farkas:

These aren’t my words but they resonated with me, smacked me straight between the eyes, and so I’ve adopted the attitude and feel compelled to share the wisdom of Arthur C. Brooks:

“…one realizes that fulfillment cannot come when the present moment is merely a struggle to bear in service of the future, because that future is destined to become nothing more than the struggle of a new present, and the glorious end state never arrives. If we want to find true satisfaction, we must instead focus on the walk that is life, with its string of present moments.”

Jay Heltzer

Life is damn hard. It’s challenging and vicious. If you don’t have the right CATCHPHRASE, you’ll never succeed.

About to bullshit your way through a presentation? About to convince your spouse your point of view is correct? About to be the coolest guy at the bar after dropping some weird-ass trivia fact that no one knew or asked for? Follow it up with a catchphrase.

The assertion of authority established by a short, pithy statement can do wonders for the weakness of your previous statement. And if you really want to impress your fellow humans, use words that you wouldn’t find as a sound effect in a comic book. (I’m looking at you, Kra-Ka-KOOM!)

Find that special verbal capstone and feel the success wash over you like the treasure baths of old.

This is what I’m sayin’.

(That’s my catchphrase. Go get your own.)

Sam Hedenberg

Thinking about taking your relationship to the next level? Here’s some advice, child. Live with them first.


I dated this girl for two years after college, and it was a foregone conclusion we were going to get married. Then we moved into a 450 square-foot studio apartment together.

Our relationship ended before the lease did.

Think about it: how many bad roommates have you had in your life? Don’t you think there’s a solid fucking chance your significant other is a bad roommate? Or, more likely, that YOU’RE a bad roommate?

I’m a firm believer that you’re not truly in love until A: you’ve yelled at each other for two hours and still crawled into bed together afterwards, and B: you’ve listened to your partner shit their brains out after eating some questionable grocery store sushi—and still crawled into bed together afterwards.

Live together first.

Do you have some life advice you’d like to preach about? Follow the conversation on Twitter with us @thepromptmag!

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