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It’s the horrendous trend that’s sweeping the nation! As fragile people get caught up in their feelings—not wanting to even think about things like racism, gender expression, or sexual orientation/identity—they’ve lashed out against a formidable foe: BOOKS.

*teeth chattering sound*

Yes, that’s right. From Harry Potter to Toni Morrison’s Beloved to And Tango Makes Three—a children’s book about gay penguins—people are out here doing the most, getting them banned from classrooms and curricula. We thought we’d offer some healthy alternatives to banning books. So, we asked our staff:

Instead of banning books, what activities do you recommend?


Eric Mochnacz

Banning racists is always a good activity.

Mikael Johnson

Dance like nobody’s watching.

Dance like nobody’s watching…anymore.

Dance like nobody’s watching; but a few folks have given in and started to watch again.

Dance like everyone is feeling embarrassed.

Dance like everyone is asking themselves, “Why do I feel embarrassed?”

Dance like everyone keeps looking at each other wondering if someone is going to do something.

Dance like nobody’s watching because they’re too busy pointing the finger at someone else.

Dance like everyone else is too busy arguing.

Dance like everyone else is too busy fighting.

Dance like nobody’s watching because the cops arrived.

Dance like you can’t hear the cops trying to question you.

Dance like the cops are waiting for you to stop dancing.

Dance like you’re trying to get just one cop to dance.

Dance like the cops just left.

Dance like you got the place to yourself.

Sydney Walters

Instead of banning books, how about we just set books down that we don’t enjoy and pick up books that we do enjoy?

Michael Maiello

The healthy thing to do is to be honest. You’re not banning James Joyce here; you’re banning Judy Blume. That means you’re trying to ban puberty. But we know how this winds up. In the future, The USS Enterprise visits a planet that is ruled by children because a virus kills everybody who reaches adulthood. But not even this virus can stop puberty. When the pre-teen girl in charge gets to know the sexual tornado that his Captain James Tiberius Kirk, she pon farrs hard. Good thing Dr. McCoy was there. But Blume would have helped, too.

Sarah Razner

Talk to someone who is different from you in some way. In any way. Someone who lives on a different street, in a different city, in a different state. Someone who grew up in circumstances other than yours, be that in home, religion, or education. Someone who doesn’t look like you, or who doesn’t share the same gender identity as you. Someone who loves someone different than you. Someone who makes you realize that you cannot define other people’s experiences.

Maybe then, when you recognize that someone as a human—like you—who has a life—like you—you’ll be less threatened by them.

Oh, and if you need an issue to tackle issues actually affecting students, here are a few:

  •     Gun violence
  •     Childhood poverty
  •     Educational inequities
  •     Racism and homophobia and all-around bigotry
  •     Student loan debt
  •     Sexual harassment
  •     Bullying
  •     Mental illness and a lack of resources to treat it

Jillian Conochan

Turn your Nike sweatshirt inside out sis; just don’t do it.

Kelaine Conochan

Oh, I don’t know. Instead of banning books, you could eat pierogies. You could just enjoy some steamed or pan fried potato ravioli pocket dumpling dreamcakes from Poland. Instead of needlessly censoring creativity, you could just dip them in sour cream or apple sauce or some other flavorful, dunkable sauce of your choosing. I’m not here to judge how you enjoy your pierogies. I just know that maybe you’re hungry and a little insecure, and you’re starting to lash out, honey. So maybe sit down and I’ll serve you a plate and we can talk about what’s really bothering you.

The Prompt Staff

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