A happy hello to my little Red Journal. I haven’t written in you for a long time, I see the last time was April 17, 2018, four days after I got you 🙁 What a beautiful Friday. I’m happy to be finishing the new circuit card designs for the rear camera module today. It was way more difficult than anticipated. I might do racquetball at lunch with Kyle today, he’s been bugging me for a rematch. So grateful for having met Kelly a few weeks ago. She’s kind and smart and cares about people, she’s better than me in some important ways. And did I mention she’s hot!? Praying for the world today with all of this coronavirus stuff going on. China scares me, they’re very secretive about everything. Ash Wednesday is coming up. I’m thinking of giving up swearing.
Wow! Life has really been up-ended these past few weeks. Just got this Zoom camera and yesterday it was up and running. Weird being holed up at home, seeing everyone at work in these little onscreen boxes. Wonder if anyone is actually wearing pants (ha)! Kelly’s been over a lot, and we basically just sit here now and watch TV. Wanted to go to Paco’s for Mexican but they shut down. One thing I’m getting tired of is all the politics on TV, with the presidential election coming up. I wish they’d just leave Trump alone. I mean, who could have seen this coming? They’ll get a vaccine or something going and we’ll figure this all out. All I can say is that I definitely don’t want to catch this thing. Shit (whoops, sorry Father!), writing this on the pot and just ran out of TP.
Kelly moved in today!!! Well, she’s basically lived here since mid-April, so we moved in more of her stuff and made it official. Had a really nice bottle of wine and a pretty rockin’ evening. I have to say all this being at home is kind of a blessing in disguise, you know? I’ve really gotten to know a beautiful person, and, well, gotten in touch with my thoughts, stepping out of the rat race for a little while. My car just sits there. Kelly helps cook some, and we’re both getting a lot better at that because we kinda have to. She made an attempt at meatloaf last night. Extra ketchup helped it go down okay. I think I love Kelly. Should I finally say it out loud?
Kelly and I finally had what I would call our first really intense, well… discussion. I wouldn’t call it a fight because it wasn’t personal, not really. We hadn’t talked much about politics until the Republican primary. She’s a sweetheart, don’t get me wrong. But she’s just so naive about people. I believe people need to be more self-reliant. She always wants to help, even if it means people take advantage and then just expect that help rather than push through the obstacles and just count on the help. These masks are getting, well, bothersome. I read today that it’s better to just get sick once and then get immune. We’ll figure it all out, it’s not like we don’t have the time. Last night we finished season 7 of Gilmore Girls. She wants to move onto Mrs. Maisel, but I’m pushing to start Breaking Bad. I heard it’s really good, and frankly a bit grittier than these cheesy chick series that Kelly likes.
The holiday weekend just ended, whatever that means? I never actually go to work (it just seems to keep coming right to me), and it’s not like we actually go anywhere. Which is also a problem because WE NEVER GO ANYWHERE! A lot of people I know got COVID but nobody got really sick or anything. Kyle caught it a few weeks ago, and he never even took a day off Zoom, so it doesn’t seem to be as big a deal as they keep saying. Thank God for this DoorDash thing because the little experiment with cooking for ourselves, well… it sucked. One business that really figured out how to keep operating is Mortachi’s Beer & Wine. Everybody gets in and outta there like little masked bandits pretty efficiently. So glad nobody can see my wine glass just outside the Zoom camera. I have to say it’s taking the edge off work.
Frankly I’m a little nervous about the election next week. I keep reading about all the really fraudulent things that could happen. Kelly and I don’t talk about it much. They actually sent her (it came here) a mail-in ballot in October and she sent it back, if you can believe that. I’m waiting until the 3rd. I just can’t believe people could let themselves be fooled by a common thief like Joe Biden, whose son actually profited from a lot of stuff he shouldn’t have. I found a few sites that explain a lot of things I never knew, like how Anthony Fauci is a raving communist. Thank God for laptops, so Kelly can watch her bleeding-heart documentaries in her room, and I can watch Walter White build his narco empire in peace in mine.
Well, Happy Thanksgiving… I said to myself at my empty kitchen table. Yes, the bitch finally moved out. It’s fine, actually, because I’m pretty sure she was the one who stuffed the local ballot box. Somebody did, because I cannot believe this district voted the way they said. No freakin’ way!! I can’t go home for the holiday because dad got COVID. Had another crisis two nights ago when a storm knocked out the internet on our block. God Bless Mortachi’s because they’re always there for me. The guy even sold to me without a mask, which I now absolutely WILL NOT WEAR. After a little late-night scuffle at Applebee’s, I broke into Paco’s and made myself some carne asada. Never thought I’d say it, but I miss Kelly’s dry, flavorless meatloaf.
Just got home tonight, and dad looks a lot better. It wasn’t that long ago that this tiny room with my old childhood stuff was my entire universe. Strangely, tonight my universe feels this small. Lying here, scrolling through my social media, I don’t know what to believe anymore. The thought of masks and vaccinations and being told what to do makes me absolutely crazy. But the sight of my frail dad with a mask on, well… frankly he’s just adorable, and he’s such a good dude. Kelly’s finally posting again. She’s with someone new. I feel like I’m locked in a cage of confusion. Like when Adam took a bite of the apple from the Tree of Knowledge, and suddenly everything in the Garden of Eden got very, very dark.
Okay, little Red Journal… it’s been a really, really weird year, and only you know how I really felt about it all. Being home this week seems to have literally pulled me from the brink of complete madness. Work starts back on the 4th, but Kyle asked me to take off and drive to D.C. with him and take a stand against our government. A couple of weeks ago I would have been all in, but now I’m starting to think that might just be batshit nuts.
I think instead I might just go back to work and maybe turn off the electronics for a while. Maybe next year I’ll just do me and let the crazy world sort itself out. I’ll build that shed for my mower I keep designing in my mind. Or finally run that marathon I’ve always been talking about. Or maybe stop being mad about things I can’t control or cannot even fully understand.
Maybe I’ll call her back. I really miss her meatloaf.