{Lame Duck}, Want to Play a Game Duck?

You know how being inside all the time kind of messes with your head? How it gives you all this time for idle thoughts? How you start entertaining yourself by staring at the walls and rhyming words because you’ve regressed into early childhood? Well, if your health insurance doesn’t cover therapy/mental health, or if you’d prefer to just allow yourself to slowly drift into madness, then here’s a fun game!

It’s called “Here’s a Game.”

The rules are straightforward. Simply pull a common phrase from your memory, and begin riffing alternatives until you laugh, cry, or become distracted by the emptiness inside you (loneliness, hunger, brain cells, etc.). I recommend playing by yourself so you can’t infect anyone with COVID, and so that you don’t lose your remaining friends, all of whom find it immensely irritating. It goes a little something like this!

If a Lame Duck…

• Lined up on special teams for kick-off, we’d call it Game Duck
• Was boring and domesticated, we’d call it Tame Duck
• Was cloned in a lab, we’d call it Same Duck
• Was the avian embodiment of Judy Dench, we’d call it Dame Duck
• Committed arson, we’d call it Flame Duck
• Memorized every person in your high school yearbook in alphabetical order, we’d call it Name Duck
• Was really good at archery, we’d call it Aim Duck
• Worked at an insurance company, we’d call it Claim Duck
• Preferred Diet Coke, we’d call it Aspartame Duck
• Had an impressive art collection, we’d call it Frame Duck
• Was a bruiser/enforcer on a hockey team, we’d call it Maim Duck
• Was friends with all the famous Coreys from the 80s, we’d call it Haim Duck
• Was responsible for all the bad things in 2020, we’d call it Blame Duck
• Already moved on to its next destination, we’d call it Came Duck
• Was a local celebrity, we’d call it Fame Duck
• Was the disgraced former Mayor of New York City, we’d call it Shame Duck

Want to join in on the fun? Tweet me your additions to my list or start your own! It’ll be minutes of cost-effective entertainment for the whole internet!