Prompt Images
This week’s prompt is #collaboration, which pairs up two writers for one piece. This was one part of a two-part series, written by Kelaine Conochan and Zach Straus, but Zach just couldn’t stop collaborating up a storm and now we have a third piece in the series.
Kids are a blessing, but sometimes they sure can be FUNRULY!
That’s where we come in…
Here at FUNLEASHED! we design quality child leashes for the stylish families on the go.
When you order from FUNLEASHED! there’s no need to worry about sizing or stock. Every child restraint is custom crafted by our team of leash designers at our Jacksonville, Florida headquarters using 100% American made materials AFTER you place your order.
I invite you to take a tour through our Fall catalog, where you’ll find old classics, see hot new leashes, and discover cutting edge modern restraints designed for parenting in these uncertain times.
With FUNLEASHED!, you’re sure to find the perfect restraint for the active child in your life.
Enjoy!
Robert Stonewall Wilbury
CEO and Founder – FUNLEASHED!
THE CLASSICS
You can’t go wrong with these classic designs!
Back to School
$249.99 – $349.99
Are you shy about putting your darling child on a leash? We understand! Mommybloggers can be so judgemental! This simple, Icelandic-inspired navy backpack is cleanly accented with rugged marigold stitching and nautical grade zippers. Featuring our patented OptiClip, your little one can use the unclipped pack for school, sleepovers, and other outings where restraint is not required. When clipped, it pairs with a matching elastic leash to create the minimalist aesthetic you need to be stylish, yet low profile.
Mom’s Best Friend
$99.99 – $249.99
With an elegant design borrowed from our four-legged furbabies, this buckled neck collar and clipped leash combo is great for parents’ whose little darlings love to lead the way. Optimize your child’s look with over 100 customizable leash and collar choices, including leather and fabric looks, and of course, all your favorite college and professional sports teams!
The Umbilical Cord
$129.99 – $229.99
Not quite ready to let go of your precious baby? The Umbilical Cord keeps your little one attached to you in the way God intended, employing an ergonomic design that mimics the connection of pregnancy. Our DuoHarness technology links your child’s belly to your lower-midsection, guaranteed to make him as comfortable in the world as he was in your womb, while keeping your hands free for essential day-to-day tasks, like making family dinner or prayer.
LTECH
Our most current restraint technology designed to keep you moving in this modern world!
The Charger
$249.99 – $449.99
So, your darling child is a puller. It’s okay! There’s a lot in the world to be excited about! At FUNLEASHED!, we ask “Why not use their home-diagnosed ADD to your advantage?” The Charger uses the resistance created by your little one constantly tugging and tugging to charge an external battery located in the leash handle. Just strap your little one into an elegant, leather vest harness, attach the ChargeBand, and watch him go! With three types of batteries to choose from, you can’t go wrong.
The Plug
$499.99 – $899.99
Use Screen Time to your advantage! The Plug comes in two parts, a heavy-duty, charge-controlling case you can install on your child’s favorite device, and a 12 foot XtensionStyle cord-leash, with a kill switch on the leash handle. If your child gets too far away from you, the cord pulls out from the kill switch, and her device will turn off. Can’t say you didn’t warn her!
LeashFit
$379.99 – $479.99
It’s never too early to force your child to be a success! LeashFit gives toddlers, pre-teens, and any age in between access to professional level athletic resistance training. Made from moisture wicking fabric, the standard model features a weighted vest and four sets of resistance bands, giving you the freedom to customize your kid’s workout. With great upgrade options like parachutes, ankle and wrist bands, and our patented LazerCast hologram plyometric ladder, this restraint is guaranteed to have your kid ready to go pro by the time he’s fifteen.
WHAT A CHARACTER
Leashes inspired by the movies and shows your child loves turn restraint into play!
You’re The Star!
$299.99 – $699.99
Does your darling baby have a favorite movie or TV show character? These bespoke costume leashes are guaranteed to make every day feel like Halloween, only safer! Scroll through our list of over 500 licensed designs, featuring all your favorite Disney, Marvel and Pixar characters. We only ask that you designate the sex of your child upon ordering, so we can make sure we’re not sending your kid the wrong message by dressing little Blake up as Elsa or precious Tiffany as Black Panther!
YOU’LL THANK ME WHEN YOU’RE OLDER
Advanced and tactical leash options that help your child remember to honor his mother and father!
Greased Lightning
$499.99 – $2499.99
This handy device is shockingly effective! Using a metal vest and our cutting edge ElectroTech Handle, this leash is capable of transmitting small currents of electricity from your hand to your child’s body as a reminder not to stray or misbehave! Upgrade to a WetVest, ZapHelmet, or our patent-pending Wireless Lightning Implant, and we’ll throw in a free rechargable battery and wheelie case!
The Drone
$6999.99 – $8999.99
There’s no shame in being a helicopter parent! Keep your child safe even when you’re not around. Pair any of our Classics or Characters with a state-of-the-art FUNDRONE, a patent-pending quadcopter capable of lifting up to 150 lbs, featuring intuitive controls, a 4K livestream camera, and remote, non-lethal ordinance options. At FUNLEASHED!, we say “If it’s good enough for our troops, it’s good enough for our kids!”
The Good Parent With a Gun
$349.99
Starting with the simple idea that All Lives Matter, this leash was developed in collaboration with some of our nation’s top law enforcement agencies, featuring input and expertise from government lobbying firms and elected officials. Featuring a reassuring, loaded handgun combined with limited verbal warnings, there’s no need to use a physical leash to keep your precious child well behaved. As an added bonus, this restraint can be used on any FUNRULY! children you might run into while out and about! FUNLEASHED! customers have found it particularly effective for use on teenagers who are in the wrong neighborhood, of questionable citizenship, holding everyday objects, complying with arrest, or simply minding their own business. You can never be too safe!
Want to check out Kelaine’s take? Read on, you extraordinarily beautiful, highly literate creature. Want see Zach’s first impressions? Take a look.
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