Look at this heckin’ guy. He thinks he can just walk into my yard, with his blue shorts and his hat, and these boxes and envelopes that don’t have treats in them? Unbelievable. I better bark to remind him who’s boss.
Yeah that’s right, I see you out there, buddy. Don’t think this force field or the front door will protect you forever. One of these days, my humans will leave one open, and then it’ll be all over for you. You’ll have to give me ear scratches and belly rubs then.
That’s right, you better smile! I love it when humans smile. It makes me so happy. Oh my dogs, he waved at me! Yes! Humans are the cutest. This is the best day since yesterday, for sure.
I’ll press my face to the force field so he can see my teeth too. That’ll show him. I’ll get those belly rubs one of these days, mailman human. Just you wait.
He’s walking away now, but I should still bark to make sure he knows I’m here. I wonder where he goes when he gets back into his big car? Oh well, time for a nap.
I can’t help but spin around a few times. I add in some jumps to emphasize my joy. My tail and I are so happy to see the humans!
“Hey, Buddy,” Babe said. Much like me, Babe has many names the other human calls her, including Honey, Love, and Mimi. “You wanna go for a walk?”
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, I want to go for a walk! Yes! I yip excitedly and jump just a little off the ground. I follow very closely behind Babe as she fetches the leash from the closet with the humans’ extra coats. Humans need extra fur because they hardly have any. It is very sad.
Enough about sad things, though. It is time for a walk! The leash is on, Babe is opening the door, and we’re outside!
I can smell the package human on the porch. The yard smells the same as ever, but I need to pee in it to keep my scent fresh. I poop when we get home, but the humans always pick it up. Humans can be very strange.
I keep close to my human, but it is very difficult to ignore the smells all over the sidewalks and the lampposts and the grass. I can smell places where other dogs have peed. Sometimes humans drop odd-smelling things that burn my nose. Now and then I can smell the other animals, like the raccoons and the birds. I usually get to see and smell other dogs too. Walks are amazing!
I love dinner so much! Other Babe has already poured it into my bowl. Other Babe’s names are similar to Babe’s, except instead of Mimi, Babe calls her Lana. Lana walks me in the morning, but she makes dinner for all of us while Mimi and I go on a walk in the afternoon.
I love my Babes, and they love me, and life is good. Time for another nap.