Prompt Images

Smoking, vaping, and/or dipping

Saying “I love winter!”

Following Barstool Sports

Not committing to your baldness when you’re already basically bald

Owning a Blue Lives Matter sticker

Eating popcorn one kernel at a time

Being a Duke basketball fan despite not going to school there

Complaining about someone’s accent when they’re speaking a second language

Choosing to be unvaccinated

Being dead

Waiting in line to get the newest iPhone the day it comes out

Not eating vegetables

Wearing Crokies

Going by a first name that is greater than three syllables and not using a nickname

Not reading fiction

Not reading

Watching/reading only stories/books/content about white dude protagonists by white dude writers/producers/publishers

Reading only business literature

Regularly posting your “thoughts” on LinkedIn

Golfing

Being on a juice cleanse

Keeping your text message sound notifications on when others are present

Impatiently exhaling in a line because you think you’re too important to wait like everyone else

Impatiently exhaling in a line because you think you could do whatever the counter service person is doing

Going to space unless you’re an actual astronaut

Kelaine Conochan

The editor-in-chief of this magazine, who should, in all honesty, be a gym teacher. Don’t sleep on your plucky kid sister.

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