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Countries Where Tragedies Don’t Resonate With Me Emotionally

Nicknames I Have for Lesbians

Dates, Places and Times I Think About Spud Webb and/or Muggsy Bogues

Titular Puns for Racially Incendiary Gay Porn Films

Lunch Spots In DC Disproportionately Frequented By Groups Men I Assume Are From India, Bangladesh, or Pakistan and Have Mustaches, Ranked by Deliciousness

Vests I Want but Will Not Purchase

People I Know Measuring At Least 6’2″ Tall Who I’m Certain Never Have Been and Never Will Be Able to Dunk, Which Is Shameful, In My Opinion

Questions I Have About the Complicated Role of Christianity in the Black American Experience

Diseases and Conditions I View More as Personal Failures Than Legitimate Issues

Weddings I Was Not Invited To

Experiences I Have but Will Pass Off as Stories About Others, Partially So I Don’t Appear to Be Self-Involved and Partially So I Don’t Feel Shame If They Do Not Resonate With an Audience

Zach Straus

Zach Straus peaked at 15 and is mostly held together by masking tape.

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