In Defense of “Yankees Suck” Chants…

In the waning moments during last night’s World Series clinching win at Dodgers Stadium, Red Sox fans joined each other in one of the greatest Boston traditions we have, a hearty “Yankees Suck” chant.

https://twitter.com/MLByahoosports/status/1056743827015315457

IT’S NOT ABOUT THE EFFING YANKEES (behind only the Dodgers for underachievers of the century) https://t.co/kPjfFDEdVt

— Keith Olbermann (@KeithOlbermann) October 29, 2018

Sure, the Sox were busy putting the finishing touches on the Los Angeles Dodgers. And sure, it was our fourth title since The Curse ended (compared to only 1 from the Yankees… SCOREBOARD). And sure, we had already sent said loser Yankees on an early vacation. But none of that matters. I will defend every Yankees Suck chant forever and ever.

Here’s why:

1. The chant isn’t about the Yankees anymore. It’s our rallying cry and our celebratory exclamation. Like Alabama and “Roll Tide”, “Yankees Suck” can be a greeting, a challenge, or anything else you want. Yankees suck to you and yours.
2. Even if it were about the Yankees, that’s fine because the Yankees do suck. In a world of fake news, when we have to be extra vigilant that what we are saying is true, “Yankees Suck” is our constant. They suck. They really do. Their players mostly suck. Their fans suck. Their owners suck. Their new stadium sucks hard. They suck.
3. We can be happy AND chant “Yankees Suck” at the same time. I know because I am doing it even as I’m typing right now. I am living proof! It doesn’t take away anything from this wire-to-wire team that won 119 games this season and included the top two American League MVPs. I spent a lot of time being thankful for our great hitters, our incredible fielders, our big time starting pitchers, our solid bullpen, and how much each contributed to a total team victory. The 2018 Red Sox may be one of the greatest baseball teams ever (only two Major League teams have ever won more games in a season) and a spirited “Yankees Suck” doesn’t lessen that in any way.
4. In Boston, this qualifies as a unifier. I have heard “Yankees Suck” chants at sporting events that aren’t baseball games. At concerts. At parties. And I would have no problem if you all chanted it, rousingly, at my funeral. I don’t think you should be able to get a Massachusetts driver’s license without passing a vision test and being able to fire up a “Yankees Suck” chant at a moments notice. Can you imagine how much more fun this would make the DMV?
5. It’s funny as hell. Here we are winning the World Series 3,000 miles away from the East Coast. Our enemies know it is happening and it kills them. What better way to let them know that we know it hurts, than by @-ing them? It’s like the Bloody Mary game you used to play when you were younger, but instead of conjuring a scary spirit, you are killing the spirit of a bunch of front-running dinks.
6. Like the preview of what’s to come at the end of every Marvel Movie, the chant alludes the next chapter in this rivalry.  When Manny Machado, who admits to not hustling, who slides spikes up into opponents, and who clips the first baseman’s feet when going up the line, likely signs with the Yankees next year, we can remember this moment. And he can remember the chants as he struck out and fell to a knee, to end his team’s season, before cashing in in the Bronx.
7. Cities have identities and if we can make sure that when people think of Boston (or New England for those Sox fans outside the state), they think “Yankees Suck” instead of all that other stuff, that’s a win.