INT. Ferris in his bedroom.
I know what you’re thinking. A tenth sick day. Really, Ferris? The NINE TIMES weren’t enough for you? And to that, I say—why go out on an odd number? I don’t like them, and it’s right there in the name: they’re inherently odd. Not that there’s anything wrong with being odd, it’s just not for me.
Compared to my ninth sick day, today’s weather is a little less than ideal: thunderstorms with a high of 34. But I think I can make the best of it. Time to hop in the shower!
INT. Ferris in the shower.
How will I spend this glorious day?
I recall, Central Park in fall… maybe a quick trip to the ballpark, a cruise around in my buddy Cameron’s car, which we won’t take our eyes off this time, mind you—OW!
(Ferris slips and falls. He touches the back of his head, his hands are now covered in blood)
Oh, God, that’s a lot of blood.
I’m feeling a little woozy.
INT. Ferris’s bedroom. Ferris is in a towel. The towel is slightly bloodstained.
Let’s see what my buddy Cameron is up to.
(Ferris dials his number. He shakes his head.)
Voicemail. Cameron, it’s me, your best friend, Ferris. Please give me the courtesy of calling me back. Oh, Mrs. Frye? Hello, this is Ferris Bueller. I’m sorry? Cameron’s in the hospital? Mono? Sounds serious. Well, give Cameron my best.
(He hangs up)
No Cameron. Which means no car. The plot thickens. Well, I can still enjoy this day on my own. I’ll pick up Sloane from school, and we can have the perfect date.
EXT. Ferris stands in the rain in disguise. Sloane runs out and ducks under his umbrella. Thunder and lightning crash.
Sloane… do you have a kiss for Daddy?
Ferris, I can’t skip school today. I have a really big test, okay? And I think I’m coming down with something, I’ve been so tired recently.
We’re all tired—it’s high school! Let’s live a little! Hold on, are you getting mono?!
ROONEY spies on them from the top of the steps. He calls down to Ferris.
FERRIS! I can SEE YOU! I KNOW IT’S YOU, FERRIS!
FERRIS runs away.
(running in the rain)
No friends, no car, now what am I supposed to do?
INT. City bus. Ferris rides into the city in disguise, soaking wet, surrounded by other people.
BUS RIDER #1
Boy, this rain really puts the “rain” in “rain check.” I was really hoping to see the Cubbies today!
FERRIS shakes his head in dismay.
BUS RIDER #2
Tell me about it! I was supposed to dance in a parade today, but it’s rained out!
FERRIS puts his head in his hands.
EXT. Museum entrance. A sign reads “CLOSED FOR REPAIRS.” FERRIS hangs his head, Charlie Brown style.
INT. Chez Quis host stand. FERRIS wrings out his hat, which is still wet.
Lunch for one, s’il vous plait.
Do you have a reservation?
Of course I have a reservation. It’s there.
You’re Abe Froman? The sausage king of Chicago?
Please, Abe is my father. Call me Ferris.
EXT. Dumpster. Two waiters throw FERRIS out the doors.
And stay out!
FERRIS sits up. Picks his wallet out of a puddle.THUNDER claps.
From bad to worse. Guess I’ll just make my way home and finish up this day with some TV.
FERRIS rides the bus and stares longingly out the window.
INT. Foyer of the Bueller house.
What a waste of a day off.
FERRIS opens the door to reveal ROONEY waiting, arms crossed.
FERRIS looks around, and sees JEANIE making out with CHARLIE SHEEN.
You’re suspended, Ferris. What do you say to that?
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once—OW!
(Jeanie punches him)
Who are you talking to, dweeb?