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Why use a full sentence of words when one will do? Welcome to The Prompt’s newest feature, Fake Words for Real Life, where our writers invent terms for universally understood objects or feelings. First up, a reader submission:
I have a dilemma. I’m hungry but I don’t want anything in my house. What is this syndrome called?
Jillian Conochan
hungerlust
hun·ger·lust | \ ˈhəŋ-gər-ˌləst \
: strong longing for anything that exists outside your cupboards
Billy Hafferty
nourishlorn
nour•ish•lorn | \ ˈnʌrɪʃm-, lɔːn
: pitiful sadness brought on by continuous consumption of anything except the thing you don’t know you are craving yet
Dennis William
Prosnacktination. I don’t want to eat this food now, I’ll eat it later.
Sarah Razner
In•di•gest•ci•sion | \ ˌin-(ˌ)dī-ˈjes-si-zhən
Indigestcision: I’m hungry, but can’t decide between the five different types of chips in front of me. Like indigestion, indigestcision generally leads to stomach pain and bloating.
Josh Bard
The Hunchies | \ hun-cheez \
I know I want to eat something because I think I am hungry. But I don’t like any of these options, so now I wonder if I really am hungry. By the time I’ve opened up every cabinet three times, I have either worked up an actual hunger enough to submit to mediocre selection OR tired myself out mentally and physically.
Devin Householder
Chronic Appetite Boredom (CAB) – Neurological condition compromising the myelin lining of the rear cerebral cortex, causing all pantry food to appear as if it came with the house (re: creamed corn, frozen peas). Treatable if detected early. 30% of cases progress to Acute Appetite Boredom (AAB), which can present as DoorDash addiction, starvation or Chick-fil-a Waffle Fry obsession
Jay Heltzer
Situationally Curated Automobile Recreational Feeding (SCARF) – The specific environment where a human being desires nourishment and sustenance but is not currently in possession of the correct foods to meet their needs. Thus, said human proceeds to operate their motor vehicle, patronize an establishment that sells an abundance of the required snacks, proceeds to purchase too much of it in excess, and then binges the full content of their purchase, either to great satisfaction, tremendous regret, or both.
Mikael Johnson
Keinkochgeist
kein-koch-geist (kine-kaw-guy-st)
Another one of those German “catch all” type phrases that is used when a person is overwhelmed by the choices of food available to them inside and outside their own house; and furthermore, lack the spirit to either cook or put on their shoes to go get it.
Look out for our next installment of Fake Words for Real Life. If you’d like to submit a concept for reverse-engineering, drop us a line!
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