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ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

Your bold and ambitious ways could lead you to dive headfirst into new opportunities. However, exercise self-control before flying too close to anything, really, since pretty much all of it will kill you. While it’s the fearlessness that leads to life’s most enriching moments, you must remember the fragility of life when your exoskeleton is so thin.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

You are absolutely humming today, and everyone around you can tell. Take a day to do what makes you happy, whether that is bringing joy to others, or taking in nature from a high perch. But don’t take much more than a day, because you will only live another four to six weeks. Stability and persistence got you through the 17 year hibernation, so make the most of your summer, before you return to the ground.

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

So much to do and so little time. Instead of letting your to-do list get the best of you, find a way to get the best from it. To get the most out of today, fly the fine line of committing to something without getting carried away by it. Don’t lose the forest for the trees!

CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

If you are always protecting others, who is protecting you? Be sure someone else has your back and can get you back on your feet, meaning if you land on your back, they can help you flip over and onto your feet. Never expose your underbelly/thorax.

LEO (July 23 – August 22)

After waiting years for the spotlight, it’s finally here… but don’t confuse the spotlight for plain old daylight. While both are disorienting, and life-giving, one can be wild fun, while the other portends that the end is near. Regardless, make the most of your time in the light.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

You’ve got those restless feet and your new vibe is infectious for those around you. It’s completely normal for recent freedom to evoke this kind of curiosity and excited buzz. Be impulsive and keep it moving. Seriously! Don’t stay on any one surface for too long!

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

The haters are everywhere, but they only get as much of your time as you let them. Emit the positivity you want returned. Sure, they may try to bring you down or diminish the miracle that is your existence, but that’s why you have to remember your purpose: screaming and mating. Focus on being in the moment and what is immediately in front of you, even though you cannot see anything.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

You’ve always been encouraged to come out of your shell, but it’s never been a more pressing issue. Speaking of pressing issues, watch out for sneakers, tires, and fly swatters.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)

Submitting to your wants and urges is totally natural and understandable, and don’t let anyone shame you for your carnal desire. Your time here is too short to be bored in the boudoir. And in the 17 years you’ve been underground, the world has become a more sex-positive and accepting place.

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)

You can keep flapping your wings, but that doesn’t mean you’re going places. Make each decision deliberate, and propel yourself forwards with your actions. Focusing on your bucket list doesn’t mean you have to be focused on death.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)

Be careful in trying to be the consummate people pleaser today! You can only control so much. The first step in making others happy is making yourself happy. Self-love is as important as love between two, except that self-love won’t continue a species for another generation.

PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

Don’t confuse people hearing you for people really hearing you. Make those words count by not merely talking to hear yourself above the other noise. Communication is important and establishing a connection begins on the singular level. You may never get another chance!

Josh Bard

Josh Bard is a guy. A sports guy, an ideas guy, a wise guy, a funny guy, a Boston guy, and sometimes THAT guy. Never been a Guy Fieri guy, though.

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