Zach Straus
MeetZach Straus
Zach Straus peaked at 15 and is mostly held together by masking tape.

From the mind of Zach

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An Incomplete and Growing List of Things I’ve Used as a Substitute for Actually Having a Personality

Having a personality is a commitment. It’s much easier to have other things.

Zach Straus
May 7, 2019
Prompts
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Burn Calories After Reading

A cloying-need-for-validation masquerading as vaguely-ironic-self-awareness-and-criticism, to ultimately reveal that, in my heart of hearts, I’m fairly happy about losing 9 pounds.

Zach Straus
April 29, 2019
Lifestyle
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POETRY: Claiborne Pell Bridge

When you live somewhere but still don’t know the names of the bridges, the surrounding islands, or the reasons why you feel what you feel.

Zach Straus
April 23, 2019
Wildcard
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{Mirror} vs. Table: The {Reflections} of an Airbnb Host

Zach’s Airbnb guests have a destructive obsession with the mirror. But their vanity crosses a line, messing with the overall feng shui and an old, treasured friend.

Zach Straus
April 11, 2019
Prompts
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ROMANTIC COMEDY

Calling all basic bitches! No, it’s not offensive. It’s a rom com about dogs, obviously. Coming to theaters near you this May.

Zach Straus
April 4, 2019
Wildcard
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DRUG COMMERCIAL

Talk to your doctor about [ DRUG COMMERCIAL ]. If it works on this virile fire chief who was once totally sidelined, who knows what it’ll do for you.

Zach Straus
March 25, 2019
Wildcard
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A.I.dam Schefter’s {Fantasy Land}

What if Adam Schefter was a robot? But when you think about it… isn’t all his intelligence artificial? A.I.dam Schefter has the scoop.

Zach Straus
March 19, 2019
Prompts
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An Incomplete and Growing List of Business Names That Sound Like Nicknames for Testicles

Lots of respectable businesses have no idea that they also sound like nicknames for testicles.

Zach Straus
March 11, 2019
Prompts
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Fuck You, Teddy Roosevelt: A Voyage to the {Great Outdoors}

You go hiking. Into the woods, up the mountains, into the meadows. It’s just you and your notebook and your feelings. What’s inside when you’re outside?

Zach Straus
March 4, 2019
Prompts, Travel
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