Zach Straus
MeetZach Straus
Zach Straus peaked at 15 and is mostly held together by masking tape.

From the mind of Zach

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Manspider Homecoming: A {Superpower} with a Social Conscience

I just want a place I can be comfortable, be myself, be free from all this fucking Arachnophobia. For the first time, the manspider speaks out.

Zach Straus
January 14, 2019
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POETRY: The Gray Quilt

What does love look like after three years? If it can be captured in the still frame of an iPhone, then maybe we’ll get the chance to relive it.

Zach Straus
January 9, 2019
Prompts
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Tomato Season: Young Boy, Dead Deer, and What It Feels Like to Be Alone

The deer was still breathing when the young boy got there. But not the next day or the day after or the day after. How youth understands death, up close.

Zach Straus
December 31, 2018
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An Incomplete and Growing List of Ways I Am Waging War on Christmas

‘Tis the season to offend your Christian brethren with such egregious actions as saying happy holidays. The very audacity makes us shudder.

Zach Straus
December 20, 2018
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MAD LIBerals: An Email to Your Politically/Socially Conscious Friends

Dear high school acquaintance. We may share a lot of [NOUN] about politics, but your [ADJECTIVE] expectations turn me into a very MAD LIBeral.

Zach Straus
December 14, 2018
Politics
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An Incomplete and Growing List of Beliefs I Hold, Despite Doing No Actual Research On the Subject

In today’s fake-news, unverified, falsified world, why bother doing the research? Believe whatever you want to believe. We’re all dead already anyway.

Zach Straus
December 13, 2018
Prompts
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How to Sext with Animals

Wondering if you can use emojis to sext with your newest crush, who happens to be a four-legged beast? Well, let this be your gross, weird sexting with animals starter kit.

Zach Straus
December 7, 2018
Lifestyle
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An Incomplete and Growing List of One Man Shows I Will Not Perform

You know what’s more insufferable than a one man show? Even thinking about Zach perform these culturally and sexually inappropriate numbers all by himself.

Zach Straus
December 4, 2018
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POETRY: Bitemark, Colorado

Ever notice how Zach loves to write poems about being young and driving long stretches of road in the middle of America? Start noticing.

Zach Straus
November 30, 2018
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