I just want a place I can be comfortable, be myself, be free from all this fucking Arachnophobia. For the first time, the manspider speaks out.
What does love look like after three years? If it can be captured in the still frame of an iPhone, then maybe we’ll get the chance to relive it.
The deer was still breathing when the young boy got there. But not the next day or the day after or the day after. How youth understands death, up close.
‘Tis the season to offend your Christian brethren with such egregious actions as saying happy holidays. The very audacity makes us shudder.
Dear high school acquaintance. We may share a lot of [NOUN] about politics, but your [ADJECTIVE] expectations turn me into a very MAD LIBeral.
In today’s fake-news, unverified, falsified world, why bother doing the research? Believe whatever you want to believe. We’re all dead already anyway.
Wondering if you can use emojis to sext with your newest crush, who happens to be a four-legged beast? Well, let this be your gross, weird sexting with animals starter kit.
You know what’s more insufferable than a one man show? Even thinking about Zach perform these culturally and sexually inappropriate numbers all by himself.
Ever notice how Zach loves to write poems about being young and driving long stretches of road in the middle of America? Start noticing.