So you want to put your dumb kid on a dumb leash? Zach Straus isn’t responsible for your life choices.
Some little white boy, probably named Tyler, is on leash but still terrorizing the families and solo travelers as they wait. All we need is a hero.
Do you like puns? Do you like buying self-indulgent memoirs that you’ll never read? Then have we got just the list for you.
This toilet seat is covered in piss, it just feels right to come up with a list. And now, the things we leave behind while things come from our behinds.
Is there anything more quintessentially summer than riding through the streets with your windows down? The sounds of summer, on loop.
When it all falls down, how are you supposed to move on with your life? Grip the phone, find the emojis, and pray your daughter responds.
Welcome to Hollywood, where the beers are cold and the puns are practically insufferable. Have you tried the Katharine Heffburnweizen? It’s a classic.
If Zach Straus had a standup tour in 2004, the third bit would have started “Man, you know what’s crazy? PERFUME COMMERCIALS, right? [LAUGH BREAK] I mean, who writes that stuff?”<
***but Should Also Know Make You Seem Uninteresting If You Crow About Them as Paradise or Your Favorite Place On Earth (Unless You Are Actually From There).