Talk to your doctor about [ DRUG COMMERCIAL ]. If it works on this virile fire chief who was once totally sidelined, who knows what it’ll do for you.

While Joe Biden may have won the presidential election, the National Parks are the actual winners. Here’s what Trump would name them.

How in bloody hell is Election 2020 still going? Why is this happening to us, America?!?! Zach has some fingers to point.

How many alternate dimensions are there? Well, a long time ago, we asked Jesse, but now Zach has opinions. And some of them involve Jesse, tbh.

Your morning constitutional is a sacred, vulnerable ritual meant for human and smartphone. What are the targeted ads that join you for a morning scroll?

How do you spell that name? Well, that depends on who you ask. Or if you ask Zach, who has been keeping track for almost 2 years.

How have back spasms affected me? Let me count the ways.

The intimate, awkwardly close relationship of two strangers who pass each other on the street. Try not to look. Try not to engage. Try not to judge.

Do you remember taking walks during your childhood? The great outdoors. The shoplifting. The moments of complete freedom.