So what if you scalded the entirety of your mouth with melted cheese. You’re young, stupid, and free. What else even is there?

Who says Jeopardy! categories can’t be personally curated to match my every interest, desire, and fixation? An incomplete and growing list.

When it all falls down, how are you supposed to move on with your life? Grip the phone, find the emojis, and pray your daughter responds.

Zach first read Beloved because he heard it was a ghost story. Through the years, Toni Morrison’s voice and words still haunt him. Rest in power, Toni.

ZACH ATTACK IS BACK! But is he fat Zach? Thin Zach? Healthy Zach? IS THERE ANY SUCH THING? Gotta read to find out, you b-holes!

A poem, painting an intimate portrait of two people, lovers, lit only by moonlight. These are the things they did and didn’t do.

As our Writer of the Year, Zach’s inner circle has grown notably more prestigious. But unfortunately, that means cutting the fat. Sorry Sting. You’re uninvited from ravioli night.

Summers in Kansas. Growing up as boys being boys. A poem takes us back to the innocence of those days near Huxman Road Bridge.

They say you have to be the change you want to see in the world. Well, Zach is trying. But some of these petitions just won’t take off.