Kelaine Conochan
MeetKelaine Conochan
The editor-in-chief of this magazine, who should, in all honesty, be a gym teacher. Don’t sleep on your plucky kid sister.

From the mind of Kelaine

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Trapped in Pink: Bedroom Walls in My {Least} {Favorite Color}

As a kid, Kelaine hated the color of her bedroom walls because she was never really a “pink” kind of girl. Looking back, she now knows why.

Kelaine Conochan
July 16, 2021
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To the Person Who Put Coffee into the Specific Container Designated for Hot Water

The container was labeled HOT WATER. So why didn’t it taste like HOT WATER? Because you are a careless monster. A hellion. I hope you get what you deserve.

Kelaine Conochan
July 9, 2021
Lifestyle
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{How to} Be in Two Places at Once, Make the Most of Your Time, and Never Lose

Looking for step-by-step tips on how to get everything done that you ever wanted? Well, step right up. We’ve got news for you.

Kelaine Conochan
July 1, 2021
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An Incomplete and Growing List of Idiotic Ways to Say {“Do Me a Favor”}

This might be the single dumbest thing anyone has ever written on this website. But then again, there’s also never been anything like it.

Kelaine Conochan
May 28, 2021
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{U Up?} Insomnia & Midnight in the {Comments} Section

Is there anything worse than those late hours of the night, when you just can’t sleep? Welcome to the comments section. Enter at your own risk.

Kelaine Conochan
May 21, 2021
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{What If} You’re Already Good Enough? And Other Questions That Keep Me Up at Night

What makes you think you’re not good enough? You’re a king. You’re a beast. You’re a winner. What if you finally started acting the part?

Kelaine Conochan
May 14, 2021
Wildcard
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POETRY: {Pass the Ketchup}? A {Hot Dog} Lover’s Nightmare

Who puts ketchup on a hot dog? Not everyone understands the contentious battle between red and yellow, right and wrong, good and bad (taste).

Kelaine Conochan
May 3, 2021
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{Hot Dogs} on Long Beach Island: Thinking Back on a Childhood Fantasy

Things are more complicated when there’s less sunshine and mini golf. Kelaine reflects on carefree summers spent in Long Beach Island with her cousins.

Kelaine Conochan
April 30, 2021
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Communication Breakdown: When The Real {Problem} Isn’t Your Car

This is more than just car trouble. It’s a crisis of masculinity. It’s hard to know what the problem is until you lift up the hood.

Kelaine Conochan
April 14, 2021
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