Nurses, doctors, paramedics. Delivery, grocery, and food workers. And, of course, the unsung heroes of the COVID-19 crisis: dominatrixes.

How this tasteful, respectful gentlemen’s club is protecting you during COVID-19. What? You thought strip clubs didn’t have crisis communications teams?

After the success of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” John Papageorgiou created and hosted his very own, equally compelling game show.

This locksmith was sure he had love on lockdown, but maybe you really do need the keys to get into someone’s heart. Pity, really.

America’s 3 favorite days: from preparation to gluttony to the aftermath. When you face off against Thanksgiving, you are the winner AND the loser.

When your wife asks for ketchup on her eggs, should you divorce her? Sometimes a woman’s cravings are just too much biology to bear.

A comedic poem for all dairy lovers and intolerators. The triumph and tragedy of the mammalian gift of creamy, delicious dairy.

Looking to get some quality “me time?” There’s a little-known sushi restaurant where you get treated like the royalty you are, Mr. Pokomon.

For this week’s BODY ISSUE writing prompt, John decided to take on some erotica… rather unsuccessfully. Read with caution. NSFW.