John should have known, as soon as he had his first crushes, that his bad habits would haunt him forever. We always want what we can’t have.

John’s steaming mad about some really dumb stuff. Here’s a list of 10 pet peeves that might get you similarly enraged, or also, maybe not at all.

John never had a tick bite, was careful enough to avoid hanging out in the woods like some forest-dweller. Until that fateful day…

Hotel sex on Valentine’s Day is supposed to be loud and lusty. And while John and his lady lack chemistry, they sure feel the passion in the room next door.

I’m a man of means. Means enough that, if you cease this infantile complaining, we can end this evening sharing a meal at Cracker Barrel.

Some people don’t respond well to shame, even when they deserve it. So, person who shat all over the toilet, consider this a polite little pep talk.

John Krasinski may have made it to the big screen, but what are Jim Halpert’s chances of survival in A Quiet Place? Rating the whole cast of The Office.

This locksmith was sure he had love on lockdown, but maybe you really do need the keys to get into someone’s heart. Pity, really.

Movies let us indulge some of our darkest, most hideous inner curiosities. So, tell me then, which couple fights—like REAL punchfests—did you enjoy most?