Elijah Sloan
MeetElijah Sloan
Writer of societal manifestos, ransom notes, bomb-making manuals, secession declarations, new constitutions, and children's picture books.

From the mind of Elijah

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{Getting Lost} in a Weird Circle of Hell… Demon Guard Confused What You Did to Get Here

Grathazzulgar is a weird little demon, responsible for guarding your Circle of Hell. And whatever you did must have been pretty weird to get sent here.

Elijah Sloan
November 30, 2021
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A Genie’s Guide to {Wishful} Living

Being a genie requires infinite servitude and confinement to an impossibly small living space. Read this guide to minimize your unsurmountable oppression!

Elijah Sloan
November 3, 2021
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Todd’s Facebook Profile Pictures: A Retrospective on {Self-Portraits}

Todd Guberman is deleting his Facebook. For real this time. We reflect on the impact his profile pics leave on the art world. We’ll miss you, Todd.

Elijah Sloan
July 7, 2021
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A {Calendar} Year in The Good Dimension

A humorous take on the events and holidays in The Good Dimension. Come explore an amazing place where nothing bad ever happens.

Elijah Sloan
May 31, 2021
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Me Against the Planet: Punching, Murder, {Recycling,} and Vengeance (in that order)

THE PLANET IS OUT TO GET ME. And I’m not just going to stand here while it plots against me and my family. I’m coming out punching.

Elijah Sloan
April 22, 2021
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Lonely Jim’s Amateur Guide to {Dark Chocolate}

After the divorce, all Jim has left is a blog and his taste for dark chocolate. He’s not feeding a sweet tooth. Jim’s here telling the bitter truth.

Elijah Sloan
February 15, 2021
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{Vanity} & Victory: A Chance to Thank All the Little People

It’s great to have friends in high places. But having an army of little people crusading for your success? Now you’re talking.
Elijah Sloan
August 19, 2020
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{What If} Marvel Comics Accepted Any of My “What If” Pitches

If you’ve got big dreams and big ideas for big heroes on the big screen, it’s your time to shine. Marvel, how about taking a shot on some of these?

Elijah Sloan
July 22, 2020
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Always a Divorce Lawyer, Never a Divorcé

Till death do us part? How exhausting! As a divorce lawyer, I’ve helped thousands of people walk away from their commitments. When is it my turn?

Elijah Sloan
March 2, 2020
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